Operation: White Whale
by InkyCoffee
Summary: Mission: Surveillance. Subject: Richard Castle. Transcripts from 27 Feb, 2009. [Castle Summer Hiatus 2015 Ficathon Entry] See my author page for new M!rated companion to Ch 81. Now complete.
1. Chapter 1

[ _Recording_ ]

Day One.

My mission is to run surveillance on one Richard Castle, who is allegedly the son of former Agent Jackson Hunt. We have reason to believe that Hunt could make contact or use his son as a drop point for the intel that was stolen before he went rogue. Should that occur, I am to extract the intel before it can fall into enemy hands, and prevent collateral damage.

As per Agent Montgomery's orders, I am recording a mission log on top of our standard reports, and making a file of all relevant surveillance.

[ _End recording_ ]


	2. Chapter 2

_[Recording]_

Day Two.

The Agency was able to acquire the use of an apartment directly across the street from the target's loft. Today was spent establishing cover identities. I will be operating now under the alias of Nikki Heat, who is completing her doctorate in literature at Columbia University. Agents Ryan and Esposito, my team, are posing as my roommates under the aliases Sean Raley and Miguel Ochoa. Our equipment is ready to go, and we plan to infiltrate the target's loft at earliest opportunity to plant our surveillance.

On a personal note, Sir, I... I'm not sure why I was picked for this mission. I'm one of your top field agents. Any rookie can run basic surveillance. And I don't understand the need for the extra monitoring of our mission, or why you said to keep files here rather than sending them in for analysis as protocol dictates. Still... orders are orders.

 _[End recording]_


	3. Chapter 3

_[Recording]_

Day Three.

Today's task was to infiltrate the target's loft so we could plant listening devices and cameras, as well as gain access to their wifi so that we'll be able to access their electronic devices. Overall, the plan went well. We gained access to the roof of the building next door, rappelled across, and then it was simple to pick the locks. We were almost finished placing the upstairs bugs when Mr. Castle arrived back home, but he was quickly absorbed in his office, and we were able to extricate without being detected.

Ryan has already hacked their laptops and mobile devices, and is currently going through their files to see if he can find anything relevant. We now have eyes and ears throughout the entire loft, including Mr. Castle's bedroom and bathroom. We also lifted fingerprints to run through the system, and by tomorrow we should know more about the target than he does about himself.

I've also assigned my team to read his published works, as they may give us insight into who he is.

 _[End recording]_


	4. Chapter 4

_[Recording]_

Day Four.

Attached are all background files on the target, Richard Castle, including but not limited to his school records dating back to kindergarten, hospital and police records, DMV file, marriage and divorce records, subscription lists, and every mention of him in the media, ever – ranging from in-depth interviews to Page 6 gossip.

I also met with Agent Montgomery today. He instructed me again, clearly and specifically, to continue making this log, and to make copies of every piece of relevant intel. He has instructed me to keep this log off any official records, and not to send any of it in to the agency. He told me to "treat it like a diary" - implying that I am to use this log to express my feelings about this assignment, "for my own edification".

In that case... I think we're wasting our time here, and that I'm overqualified for this assignment.

And on a personal note, I think Richard Castle is a self-centered, egotistical jackass.

 _[End recording]_


	5. Chapter 5

_[Recording]_

Day Five.

We spent today observing the Castle household, as well as looking into the backgrounds of every major player in the target's life – in particular, his mother, Martha Rodgers, and his daughter, Alexis Castle. Martha is a washed-up former Broadway actress who spent most of today nursing a hangover after arriving home at 4am after drinks with friends. Alexis is the surprise of the family. She's a straight A student and all her records indicate she is a mature, well-adjusted individual with a promising future. The boys were as surprised as I was, so we ran a DNA test, and yes, she is the target's biological daughter. So far, that's the only odd sock of the family.

It's really frustrating being tied up with surveillance when we could be out there tracking Hunt's movement, when there's no actual evidence that he'll make contact. Still, orders are orders.

 _[End recording]_


	6. Chapter 6

_[Recording]_

Day Six.

The target spent the day in his underwear purchasing property on the moon and ignoring phone calls from his publicist.

This is a waste of time.

 _[End recording]_


	7. Chapter 7

_[Recording]_

Day Seven.

The target spent the day on the move, heading downtown to write in a café before attending a meeting about his book launch party, which will be happening three days from now. Once he got home, he played a lengthy game of laser tag with his daughter. For all his faults, he seems to be a loving and devoted father.

If Hunt really is going to make contact with the target, this book party presents the perfect opportunity – a crowded gathering with multiple exits, and Castle, as the guest of honor, is guaranteed to be there. Enough time has passed that Hunt may believe we are no longer searching for him, and that alone could be enough to lure him out.

I've recommended to Agent Montgomery that if Hunt has not shown by the end of that night, we can safely assume his son is not part of the plan, and we can redistribute our resources accordingly. Hopefully then I can get back out there and do some real field work.

 _[End recording]_


	8. Chapter 8

_[Recording]_

Day Eight.

Another day running surveillance on an ordinary family doing completely ordinary things.

Agent Esposito did notice one man walking around the block seven times today, often looking upwards, and Agent Ryan has been suspicious about a particular silver sedan he has likewise notice circling. It's propably nothing. This is New York, after all. We've been running facial recognition and the license plates just in case, but so far nothing's popped.

 _[End recording]_


	9. Chapter 9

_[Recording]_

Day Nine.

Richard Castle is like a nine year old on a sugar rush.

I cannot wait to get tomorrow night over with, so I can get back to real spy work.

 _[End recording]_


	10. Chapter 10

_[Transcript of Agent Beckett's lapel button camera. Transcribed by Agent Kevin Ryan]_

* * *

 _[7:45 pm, interior of surveillance van]_

Agent Ryan's head comes into view. Fingers adjust the angle of the lens.

Ryan: Aaaaand you should be on. Can you hear me okay?

Beckett, (wearing the camera, so is off screen): Coming through loud and clear.

Ryan moves to his seat; Agent Esposito leans against the console.

Esposito: Don't forget, we're right outside, watching your every move.

Beckett: Thanks, Espo. You boys get comfy. Could be a long night.

The camera turns as Beckett climbs out of the van and crosses the street, enters the venue and rides up on the elevator to the rooftop, where she is directed to the bar. The barman nods toward a prepared tray of champagne flutes. She picks it up and begins circulating.

* * *

 _[8:35 pm, Richard Castle's book launch party]_

A cheer goes up from the revelers as Richard Castle, accompanied by his mother and daughter, arrive at the party. Blinding flashes go off as the he pauses to pose for the press.

Beckett continues to move at a practiced pace so that the camera clearly captures the faces of everyone it passes.

* * *

 _[8:45 pm, Richard Castle's book launch party]_

Between the crowd is a clear view of the stage, on which a poised, blonde woman is speaking.

Gina Cowell: Murder, mystery, the macabre. What is it about a hard-boiled detective, the _femme fatale_ , and the cold steel of a gun that keeps our bedside lamp burning into the wee hours of the morning? However the spell is cast, tonight we honor a master of the form and celebrate the launch of _Storm Fall_.

Beckett turns so the lapel camera can take in Richard Castle standing a few feet away, signing a woman's chest.

Castle: Call me when you're ready to wash that off.

Gina: The stunning conclusion to his best-selling Derrick Storm mystery series – ladies and gentlemen, the master of the macabre – Rick Castle.

The crowd goes wild as Castle takes the stage, another sea of blinding flashes going off.

The camera turns, capturing just the hint of movement as Castle begins his speech.

Beckett: Guys, I might see something.

The camera weaves between the crowd, out a side entrance, to the darkened backstage area. A couple of volunteers and workers are congregated, but most are standing in the wings listening to the speeches. There is no suspicious activity.

Beckett: Nothing. Sorry to get your hopes up, boys.

* * *

 _[8:52 pm, Richard Castle's book launch party]_

Camera shows Castle and Gina having an argument while smiling for cameras, then walking past, bickering.

Gina:...You could have retired him, you could have crippled him, you could have had him join the friggin' circus...

Castle picks up a champagne flute off Beckett's tray and keeps walking. They continue their exchange for several moments, and Gina storms off.

Castle remains where he is, sipping his champagne and watching other party goers. Suddenly he straightens, as if something has caught his eye. He glances around to be sure no one's watching, and slips out the side entrance to the main floor that he just entered by moments earlier.

Beckett lowers her tray of drinks and follows at a discreet distance to a private corner of the roof behind the bar. The camera only picks up Castle's arm and the back of his head. He seems to be conversing with someone, although it isn't clear who. He's only in there for a moment, and then hurries out again.

Beckett steps out from her hiding place and the camera shows an older gentleman in a suit with an open collar standing at the corner of the roof.

Beckett: Jackson Hunt?

The man turns, holding a glass of champagne, apparently unsurprised to see her.

Beckett, raising her weapon: It's over, Hunt. I'm here to bring you in. I need you to put the glass down and put your hands on your head.

Hunt: You're good, kid. I'll give you that. I'm not the bad guy here, though.

Beckett: No? Well, why don't you come with me, and we can sort this all out.

Hunt: That's not going to happen. I'm sorry, kid. You're a good spy, maybe even better than your mother was, but you won't be winning this one.

Hunt casually takes the last sip of his drink and sets the glass on the wall beside him.

Beckett: You knew my mother?

Hunt: I did. One of the best damn agents I've ever had the honor to serve beside. She's why I'm doing this.

Beckett: I... I'm afraid I don't follow you.

Hunt: Your mother's death wasn't an accident, Kate. She was betrayed and killed by one of our own. The intel I took will help prove it.

In a swift move, Hunt leaps over the wall, disappearing over the side of the building.

The camera moves quickly to the place where he jumped, looking down to the street below.

There is no sign of Hunt.

* * *

 _[9:01 pm, Richard Castle's book launch party]_

Beckett: Guys? Tell me you have eyes on him.

Esposito: We've got nothing, Beckett. We're right below you, and we can't see a damn thing.

Beckett: Give me something!

Ryan: We're checking the security feed of every floor, and street cams at every corner. We have eyes on every conceivable exit, and there's nothing.

Beckett: DAMN IT!

Esposito: Beckett, did Hunt make the drop?

Beckett: I think so. I can't be sure though.

Ryan: Time to change up the mission, then?

Beckett: Looks like it. Okay, new mission. Time for me to meet Richard Castle, gain his trust, and see if we can't recover that intel.

Esposito: Looks like it's Nikki's time to shine.

Beckett: Shuddup.

* * *

 _[9:13 pm, Richard Castle's book launch party]_

The camera approaches Richard Castle from behind as he leans against the bar chatting to Alexis Castle, his daughter.

Castle: ...It's just like these parties – they've become so predictable. 'I'm your biggest fan!' 'Where do you get your ideas?'

Alexis: And the ever popular 'Will you sign my chest?'

Castle: That one I don't mind so much.

Alexis: Yeah, well, FYI – I do.

Castle: Just once I'd like someone to come up to me and say something new.

Beckett: Mr. Castle?

Castle turns around, takes out a pen, and plasters on a smile.

Castle: Where would you like it?

Beckett: My name is Nikki Heat. My doctoral thesis is on tropes in contemporary crime writing, and I was wondering if you would be interested in doing a series of interviews with me for my research?

Alexis leans over his shoulder and plucks the pen out of Castle's hand as he stares at Beckett, slack jawed.

Alexis: That's new.

 _[end surveillance]_


	11. Chapter 11

_[Recording]_

Day Eleven.

My "work" for today involved meeting Castle for coffee in a cafe a few blocks away so that we could begin our 'interviews' while the boys searched the loft to see if they could find the intel Hunt handed off to him. Their findings lined up with our surveillance footage from the loft: the only thing Castle brought home with him from the party was a pile of books to sign, and Alexis's homework. To be honest, we don't even know exactly what we're looking for, but we do know that Castle was handed something, and several other interested parties will also be trying to get their hands on it, so our mission has as much to do with protecting the Castles as it does to do with recovering the intel.

The interview with Castle was a little surprising. To be honest, I'm not really sure how I feel about it. Gaining the trust of an asset is never an easy process, but with Castle... as shallow and childish and full of over-the-top charm and innuendo as he is, I hadn't realized how insightful he can be. There was a moment where he took my cover apart piece by piece and told me to my face that it was clear that I was "too ordinary" and that there was something going on with me under the surface – and he provided evidence based just on our brief interactions. It was all a little unnerving. I've never had an asset do that before, and it means I'll have to work harder at my cover to be sure nothing slips through. I shut him down fairly quickly, of course, but I'm worried that, by doing so, I may have inadvertently encouraged him. He doesn't strike me as the kind of man who is used to hearing the word "no".

The man is insufferable. I've never not been able to handle an asset before – usually it's one of my strengths as an agent, but Richard Castle gets right under my skin... and not in the Sinatra way.

 _[End recording]_


	12. Chapter 12

_[Recording]_

Day Twelve.

The asset spent the morning writing in a coffee shop downtown, and I was meant to meet him at his loft at 2pm. Some suspicious activity on our surveillance cams meant I went over early, unfortunately bumping into Castle in the lobby as I arrived, so I wasn't able to do much investigation when I got up there. The perp was only in the loft for a few minutes, but in that time they managed to completely trash the entire living space, as well as Castle's office. They broke into his safe, although they don't seem to have taken much more than a little cash, and overturned just about everything.

I checked as well as I could on all our bugs and surveillance equipment, but it was all so well hidden, none of it seems to have been disturbed. The intruder was definitely after something specific, though, which means our enemies somehow know Castle probably has the intel, which will put his whole family in danger.

Also, under a lamp in the living room – about the only piece of furniture left undisturbed – I found a bug planted that is definitely not one of ours. Ryan's running an analysis of it now.

On a more positive note, I was able to meet Martha and Alexis briefly. They're both very open-hearted, welcoming people, and my being there to support them through a home break-in can only have a positive effect on building trust. It does mean that I wasn't able to "interview" Castle again today, but he was more than happy to set up a new time.

In the spirit of full disclosure, before his family got home, he asked me out on a date – his innuendo implying that I'd learn more about his writing methods if I slept with him. I turned him down, though. Sleeping with him will make me simply another notch on his bedpost, here today and forgotten tomorrow, and I need him to trust me more deeply and lastingly than that.

 _[End recording]_

 _[Recording]_

Not that I'm thinking about sleeping with him. Ever.

 _[End recording]_


	13. Chapter 13

_[Recording]_

Day Thirteen.

We got a hit on the bug I found planted at Castle's place. They're the exact make and model used by a former agent who turned out to be a Russian mole who goes by the name Rathborne. Apparently there's a whole team dedicated to tracking him down and bringing him in, like we are with Hunt. If Hunt was interested in proving there is a network of double agents within the agency, like it sounds like he was, then the intel Castle was handed may very well incriminate Rathborne or his associates. The good news is, if he had found the intel, he wouldn't need to bug the loft – he could have just taken it. I'm glad we're not the only ones who aren't totally sure what we're looking for.

In other news, Castle called me today. Or, well, you know, Nikki. He seems pretty eager to have a do-over with the "interview" I was meant to do yesterday. We, uh... we spoke for almost half an hour today. He's a ridiculous goofball sometimes, but he's kinda entertaining. And it's really fun beating him in a battle of wits.

 _[End recording]_


	14. Chapter 14

_[Recording]_

Day Fourteen.

Castle is one of the most frustrating people I have ever met. I am so glad I don't actually have to write this thesis based on any of my interviews with him, because I would have nothing to go on. He can't seem to get it through his head that he isn't actually as charming as he thinks he is. He's so narcissistic that he honestly believes tales of him wooing other women will somehow get me to sleep with him. As if.

Anyone would think he was interviewing me. He asked at least three questions for every one of mine, and in the end, only promised to stop derailing my interview if I would agree to attend a charity gala with him tomorrow night. For the record, I only agreed because my cover identity needed that interview, and because I needed the excuse to talk to him about his relationship with his father – which, I might add, was a complete and total waste of time, because he doesn't even know who his father is, let alone that he's been in recent contact.

At least I'll have an excuse to shadow him at this event, for security reasons. And I'm looking forward to wiping that smirk off his face when he sees me in something other than the utilitarian outfits "Nikki" wears.

Not that I'm dressing up for him or anything.

I need to go shopping.

 _[End recording]_


	15. Chapter 15

_[Recording]_

Day Fifteen.

It was nice to put on a dress and attend a function this evening without also having to break into the private residence to steal priceless gems, or prevent the sale of nuclear codes to foreign arms dealers, or foil an attempt at assassinating a diplomat. What wasn't nice was being forced to be in close contact all evening with Richard Castle, no matter how good he smells or how amazing he looks in a tuxedo. The man is a persistent, stubborn jackass. He spent the whole evening asking questions and making assumptions about my home and family life. Until I told him my mother had an accident abroad and my father became an alcoholic. And then I left.

I should know better than to give an asset genuine personal information about the real me. Not to mention leaving an asset at a public venue when my mission is to protect him.

I'm better than this.

I am not some damn rookie.

What is it about him that makes me so mad I forget basic training?

 _[End recording]_


	16. Chapter 16

_[Recording]_

Day Sixteen.

Castle called today. He asked me to come have dinner at the loft tomorrow as an apology for last night. I didn't really want to say yes, but it's my job, so...

Why didn't we assign Ryan or Espo to do this part of the mission, again?

In other news, the team tracking Rathborne sent a liaison officer to join our team in the manhunt. Having an extra agent around who is an expert on what we're dealing with is great on the surface, but what it really means is that if Rathborne turns out to be the one behind this, their team gets automatic jurisdiction and they get to make the call on bringing this guy in. Which means we'll be sidelined from our own investigation.

Until that happens, though, we have another agent under foot. At least Agent Coonan seems like a nice enough guy.

 _[End recording]_


	17. Chapter 17

_[Recording]_

Day Seventeen.

I had dinner at the loft tonight. Martha is a delight once you get to know her, so full of drama and wild stories. Alexis is a sweetheart – eager, and so mature for her age. I don't usually get along well with teenagers, but I really like her.

Castle pulled me aside and genuinely apologized for what he said last night. I found myself telling him some of the details – the real details. Not that my parents were spies or anything, but... it was nice to actually connect with him over something real.

Maybe he's not a complete jackass.

 _[End recording]_


	18. Chapter 18

_[Recording]_

Day Eighteen.

I had coffee with Castle today. Last night felt like a turning point for us. I think we're starting to become friends. After all, that's my mission here – to gain his trust.

Finally _something i_ s going right.

As for things that _aren't_ going right – I found another one of Rathborne's bugs today. Only, this one wasn't in the loft – it was in my room, here. Who knows how long he's been listening in to me making these reports.

I handed it over to Agent Coonan for analysis, though, so at least it's in good hands.

 _[End recording]_


	19. Chapter 19

_[Recording]_

Day Nineteen.

I've been trying not to think about what Hunt said about my mom.

She was such an amazing agent. I had no idea my parents were in the CIA until I was 16, and someone found out where we lived and our family had to go to ground for a few weeks one summer. I'd been getting rebellious, saving up for a motorcycle and dating boys that I knew my boring "lawyer" parents wouldn't approve of – but watching them work together to take down the people threatening our family just... it changed everything. I signed up with the cadet program on the spot and I've never looked back.

I still can't believe Dad walked away from the spy life when Mom died. Although I suppose an alcoholic CIA agent wouldn't have been safe for anyone.

Anyway, I haven't looked at her file in a few years – most of it's redacted and above my pay grade – but from what I can make out, Hunt was Mom's handler on that mission – and when I cross-referenced it, that was the same mission where Rathborne went rogue.

Time to do some digging.

 _[End recording]_


	20. Chapter 20

_[Recording]_

Day Twenty.

I met with Castle today. He wanted some advice about Alexis – apparently there's a first boyfriend, which is really sweet. His daughter is the most important person in his life, so it's great that he feels he can trust my opinion about her already.

I spent most of the rest of the day combing over the files we have on Rathborne, and comparing it to what I have on Hunt's service record and what I can glean from my Mom's file. There are a number of things that just don't add up – including the amount of times Rathborne has slipped through the fingers of the task force meant to bring him in. It's almost like they don't actually want to catch him.

Something's not right.

 _[End recording]_


	21. Chapter 21

_[Recording]_

I figured it out today, just a moment too late. Coonan _is_ Rathborne.

And I let him get away. Now Castle is in very real danger.

I have to focus on that.

Not on the fact that Dick Coonan killed my Mom.

 _[End recording]_


	22. Chapter 22

_[Recording]_

Day Twenty Two.

I got him.

I got the bastard that killed my Mom, and I took him out just as he was lining up a shot to take out Castle. He was on the rooftop of our building, across the street from the loft.

As he was dying, I asked him why. He told me it was an order.

Someone higher up in the CIA ordered the hit on my Mom, and Coonan died before I could find out who.

And whoever it is, they're prepared to kill Castle to find the intel that Hunt stole.

This mission just got very personal.

 _[End recording]_


	23. Chapter 23

_[Recording]_

Day Twenty Three.

Castle came to our apartment today. Last time we met for coffee, he found out where I live, and he called this morning because it's been a couple of days since we talked. Thankfully most of the surveillance equipment is set up in the spare room, away from prying eyes.

I told him I wasn't feeling so great – which was the truth after yesterday.

He brought me soup.

 _[End recording]_


	24. Chapter 24

_[Recording]_

Day Twenty Four.

Castle came over again today, and spent most of the afternoon here. He brought Princess Bride with him. I haven't seen that movie since I was a kid. I don't have much time to watch movies in this job, and it was fun to watch it again.

Espo got back to the apartment a little earlier than expected, and after that, Castle went quiet and then left really suddenly. I was a bit disappointed, to be honest. Castle's behavior was really weird.

Unless he thinks Espo and I are...

Oh, God.

 _[End recording]_


	25. Chapter 25

_[Recording]_

Day Twenty Five.

Castle is definitely ignoring me. I called him several times to explain and each time it rang out and went to voice mail – even though I could see him holding it in his hand through the surveillance cameras.

He spent the whole day moping. The most interesting things he did was play with his remote control helicopter, and have an hour-long debate with Alexis about what the best sandwich would be if they were stranded on a desert island.

 _[End recording]_


	26. Chapter 26

_[Recording]_

Day Twenty Six.

By this afternoon I got sick of him ignoring my calls, so I went over there. He pretended he hadn't checked his phone. I asked him to go see a movie with me tomorrow. He seemed reluctant, but he agreed. I'll take him out to coffee either before or after, and talk to him properly then.

The Angelica is showing _Forbidden Planet_ tomorrow. I wonder how he feels about classic Sci-Fi?

 _[End recording]_


	27. Chapter 27

_[Recording]_

Day Twenty Seven.

I'd forgotten how good _Forbidden Planet_ is. Afterward, we got burgers and shakes at a diner and talked for a couple of hours. At least I was able to set him straight about Espo. I told him _Miguel's_ "uncle" was working abroad for a year or two, and had a rent-controlled apartment he needed to sublet to someone, and so _Sean_ and I were rooming there, too, because it was cheaper. Otherwise how else could a group of students afford a Manhattan apartment with more than 2 square feet and actual windows?

I hate this part of my job – all the lying and not being able to be the person that my asset thinks I am.

At least I was able to be honest when I told Castle how grateful I am to have him as a friend.

 _[End recording]_


	28. Chapter 28

_[Recording]_

Day Twenty Eight.

I didn't get to talk to Castle much today. Apparently his ex-wife is coming tomorrow to take their daughter to Paris for a week, so he wanted to spend as much time as possible with Alexis today.

I spent most of today piecing together all the intel we have on the broader mission. Hunt has gone to ground, and we still have no way of knowing exactly what he left with Castle, or if Castle is still in danger.

I need to find the person who ordered the hit on my Mom before Castle becomes the next victim.

 _[End recording]_


	29. Chapter 29

_[Recording]_

Day Twenty Nine.

I met Meredith today.

Turns out Castle is actually the more mature and responsible parent. Who knew? And where the hell did Alexis come from?

I did a full background check on Meredith, of course. I never realized it was her unfaithfulness that ended their marriage. I would have guessed it would have been his. I'm kind of surprised, actually – which doesn't sound nice, but the truth is, I'm not often wrong like that.

Except when it comes to Castle, apparently.

 _[End recording]_


	30. Chapter 30

_[Recording]_

Day Thirty.

We've decided to send Espo to Paris to keep an eye on Alexis, just in case someone decides to try to get to Castle through her while she's away. She's never met _Miguel_ so even if she does see him, she shouldn't recognize him – and Espo has orders to stay in her blind spots.

Can I be honest and admit I'm kind of looking forward to his reports? A Parisian shopping trip isn't exactly the kind of expedition you'd associate with Agent Javier Esposito.

Castle, meanwhile, spent his afternoon moping, and Martha spent it drinking. There's not a lot of love lost between her and her former daughter in law.

I already have plans to drag Castle out with me tomorrow, to cheer him up. That's the kind of thing friends do, right?

 _[End recording]_


	31. Chapter 31

_[Recording]_

Day Thirty One.

Espo is so out of his depth in Paris, it's hilarious. Most of his service has been spent in either Latin America or the Middle East, with a few missions in Asia – but he really hasn't spent much time in Europe. He's been posing as a Spanish tourist, rather than an American one, but following a couple of tourists into women's clothing boutiques when he barely speaks French? Let's just say it wasn't very successful.

He's probably going to shoot me when he gets back. Totally worth it.

I spent the day with a very mopey Castle just walking around the city. We went to a few book stores and had coffee in out-of-the-way places, and even though we didn't really talk about much of anything important, it was kind of fun to just be.

I realized today that I'm going to miss him when this is all over.

 _[End recording]_


	32. Chapter 32

_[Recording]_

Day Thirty Two.

Since the day we installed the surveillance cam in Castle's bathroom, the guys have been teasing me about it. To be honest, we don't check it often – it's part of protocol to keep watch of every part of his life, and you'd be surprised just how many people hide things in their bathrooms. I will sit and watch him moving around the rest of the loft, though. It is my job, after all, and Castle's a physically attractive person. He would say ruggedly handsome, but there's no way I'll ever admit that to him. His ego doesn't need any help from me.

It's been a quiet day, aside from Espo reporting in – which was hilarious, again – and it's Ryan's evening off, so I'm just going over the day's surveillance. It's kind of nice, actually, being able to check in on Castle whenever and just make sure he's okay. All I have to do to see him is hit this button, and...

What the hell is _she_ doing there?!

 _[End recording]_


	33. Chapter 33

_[Recording]_

Day Thirty Three.

I finally got hold of Montgomery today to ask him why the hell another agent is interacting with my asset. Apparently Agent Turner gave Castle an "up close and personal" look at the CIA twelve years ago when she was little more than an analyst. When she found out Castle has a detail on him, she volunteered to go in as an independent agent to see if she can't use their "special connection" to get information about the intel out of him. Whether or not the rumors that she's sleeping with the Director are true, she basically gets her pick of assignments.

At least I'm not being pulled from the op all together. Agent Turner is operating autonomously. Our orders are to keep doing what we're doing, but to keep out of her way. And orders are orders.

Castle, of course, is thrilled to have his "real spy" ex-girlfriend in town. They spent quite a bit of time reacquainting today – thankfully most of it was verbal.

Even so, I feel like throwing the surveillance monitors through the window.

 _[End recording]_


	34. Chapter 34

_[Recording]_

Day Thirty Four.

Alexis, and subsequently Agent Esposito, came back from Paris this evening. Thankfully Meredith had a connecting flight through to LA and couldn't spare any more time, so at least I didn't have to deal with her today as well.

Castle had a good day. His daughter is back, his former muse is back... he told me today he and Sophia are "taking it slow" this time, in the hopes that they get to "build something real". Plus, she's "still working" so isn't always available, and "her job comes first" since she's "out there saving the world."

I might puke.

Castle wants to meet for coffee tomorrow, doubtless so he can keep extolling Sophia's many virtues.

Still, it's what friends do.

 _[End recording]_


	35. Chapter 35

_[Recording]_

Day Thirty Five.

Castle and I had barely sat down for coffee this morning when we were approached by former Agent John Raglan. He was the investigator who ruled my mother's death an accident, who coordinated getting her body back from Russia.

He started rambling on about the past, said there were things I didn't know about my Mom's murder – things that happened nineteen years ago.

Then there was an enormous explosion.

It was all I could do to push Castle out of the booth, to safety. I ended up diving right on top of him, and the whole exterior wall of the caf _é_ crumbled away.

I'll never forget the look of terror in Castle's eyes.

Raglan didn't make it.

 _[End recording]_


	36. Chapter 36

_[Recording]_

Day Thirty Six.

Most of the day was spent going over evidence from the café bombing yesterday. We have reason to believe that our table was targeted on purpose, although whether they were trying to get to Castle, me, or Raglan is so far unclear.

What we do know is that the person responsible wore a brown coat over a hoody, and was adept at almost entirely avoiding all streetcams. We also know that the bomb was made in way that used to be popular with the Soviets back in the day, although most of it was made with common parts anyone could have lying around in their garage or purchase from a hardware store.

I also spoke to Castle this afternoon. He's shaken up, but fine. He said when I pushed him down, he thought I'd been hit. I'm so glad nothing happened to him.

My mind won't stop playing over what Raglan said before the explosion. What happened nineteen years ago?

 _[End recording]_


	37. Chapter 37

_[Recording]_

Day Thirty Seven.

It turns out I'm not the only one who has been thinking about what Raglan said. Castle has pieced together just enough information about my Mom for him to realize that she wasn't just your ordinary lawyer. He's trying to convince me to do some digging with him. He says he "knows a guy," and he wants to "help."

He is not helping me investigate my Mom's case. The last thing I need is for Castle to get even more involved in this.

 _[End recording]_


	38. Chapter 38

_[Recording]_

Day Thirty Eight.

We're keeping a closer eye than ever on Castle at the moment, at least until we determine whether or not he was the intended target of the bomb, so when he left the loft around lunchtime after making a mysterious phone call to an untraceable number, we dropped everything and followed him.

"Thai food is pleasing to the tongue." That's it. That was all he said.

Writers...

Turns out he was meeting someone at the Old Haunt, a bar downtown... only, according to street cams that have a clear view of every one of the exits, the person Castle met with never arrived and never left.

We sent Ryan in to keep eyes on him, and from his description, it's possible Castle met with Jackson Hunt. Hard to tell because the person stayed in the shadows and was wearing a hat and a bulky coat, but the build was right.

Whoever it was, Castle called me right after meeting him, and asked me to meet at his place.

He had acquired a copy of John Raglan's service record, including details of his career with the CIA. Turns out Raglan was recruited out of a Special Forces unit, alongside his best friend and partner, Gary McCallister. From that same unit, but recruited later, was another name I recognized – although Castle obviously didn't realize – my first handler, Agent Michael Royce.

McCallister is a good lead, though. We'll track him down as soon as we can – without any more of Castle's meddling.

 _[End recording]_


	39. Chapter 39

_[Recording]_

Day Thirty Nine.

Richard Castle is the most infuriating man I have ever met.

I went to meet with Gary McCallister today, and guess who was already knocking on his door when I was just coming around the corner? It was so frustrating, because I had to question him as my cover, not as an agent.

McCallister didn't appear to know too much – said his friend got in over his head with an international arms smuggler by the name of Vulcan Simmons, and after that, some of his dealings weren't quite on the level. My Mom's last mission had to do with a longstanding Russian arms smuggling ring. Maybe there's a connection?

Castle and I had a huge argument after we left. He needs to understand that my Mom's case is off limits.

He's going to get himself killed.

 _[End recording]_


	40. Chapter 40

_[Recording]_

Day Forty.

We spent today investigating Vulcan Simmons. Turns out he's suspected to be responsible for more than half the estimated illegal weapons in New York City alone.

I also put in a call to the last number I had for Royce. I figured if he knew Raglan back in the day, he might be able to help. The number was disconnected, though.

I didn't hear from Castle at all today, but after yesterday, I'm not surprised. He needs to stay the hell out of this.

 _[End recording]_


	41. Chapter 41

_[Recording]_

Day Forty One.

Castle and Sophia had a date tonight, at the same bar that he met his contact a few days ago.

I cannot believe him. As if it weren't already bad enough that he's been sticking his nose into my mother's case, tonight he went and asked Sophia if she knew anything about Agent Raglan. He's just lucky my assignment is to protect him.

He's not supposed to be theorizing with other agents.

This is a mess.

 _[End recording]_


	42. Chapter 42

_[Recording]_

Day Forty Two.

Castle called me today, asked me to meet. He told me that Sophia did know Agent John Raglan, as well as his buddy McCallister – not very well, but enough to know that anything and everything Raglan was into, McCallister was, too. If that's true – and their records show that it probably is – I need to talk to McCallister again, this time without Castle around. Time for some good, old fashioned interrogation.

I told Castle he betrayed my trust by going to Sophia like that. I told him I'm not sure we can be friends any more. I told him my Mom's case is off limits.

I feel like I kicked a puppy. Hopefully he gets it this time, though.

He doesn't know I'm just trying to keep him safe.

 _[End recording]_


	43. Chapter 43

_[Recording]_

Day Forty Three.

Castle came by today.

He brought me flowers and a cup of coffee, and apologized sincerely.

He's going to hate me when this is all over and he finds out what a hypocrite I'm being.

He was just trying to help, but I need to keep him alive – even if he never forgives me.

 _[End recording]_


	44. Chapter 44

_[Recording]_

Day Forty Four.

Gary McCallister did not plant the bomb that killed John Raglan. Whatever else he may have been involved with, he's not responsible for killing his friend. We have surveillance footage of a sports bar near his house on the day of the explosion, and he was there drinking and watching baseball the whole time. It couldn't have been him.

Something still doesn't add up, though. He wouldn't talk when I dropped by his apartment today. Whether rightly or wrongly, he has former-agent-paranoia, and is sure his apartment is bugged. He did agree to meet me tomorrow, though, and promised to tell me everything.

Whoever is behind all this has Gary McCallister scared.

 _[End recording]_


	45. Chapter 45

_[Recording]_

Day Forty Five.

I met with McCallister in a park today across the road from one of the coffee places Castle and I enjoy. McCallister told me all about how he and Raglan were doing off-the-books hits on arms dealers who were illegally importing automatic weapons back into the US and selling them to street dealers – assassinating people who weren't on anyone's hit lists. Murder, basically. He told me that someone on our side found out about what they were doing, and instead of turning them in, this person – the "Dragon" – agreed to keep it between them, so long as Raglan and McCallister did a few favors for this guy instead... and in the end, they just got in deeper and deeper as this man's network grew. And somehow, my Mom wound up on this "Dragon's" hit list, and Raglan was called in to do the clean-up and stage it as an accident.

He wouldn't tell me who the Dragon is, though.

As I was heading out to meet Castle for coffee at a shop near the park, I got a frantic phonecall from him. He was on his way, and happened to walk around the corner just in time to witness McCallister, on his way home from meeting with me, being pulled into an unmarked black panel van.

Ryan has been unable to trace it further than a few blocks – it's like it just disappeared.

We're doing everything we can to find him and get him back safely. This case already has a high enough body count.

 _[End recording]_


	46. Chapter 46

_[Transcript of Security Footage, Corr Helicopters, New Jersey._ _Recorded with HD camera, stored on company's private server. Retrieved by Agent Kevin Ryan at 00:21 am]_

* * *

 _[19: 23 pm]_

Black panel van enters hangar, parks. The driver, wearing a brown coat over a gray hoodie, exits the van, walks around it, and opens the back of the doors. The driver then walks out of the hangar and out of sight.

Caucasian male, positively identified as Gary McCallister, is lying, bound, gagged and unmoving on the floor of the van, next to a complex tangle of wires and explosives. Further processing of the video has revealed these wires to be connected to both the explosives and the male identified as Gary McCallister. A bold countdown clock can be seen, glowing red with the numbers 4:47:47, 4:47:46, 4:47:45...

* * *

 _[23:19 pm]_

A silver sedan pulls in, parking adjacent to the van, and Mr. Castle and Agent Beckett tumble out. The run straight over to the back of the van to assess the condition of McCallister.

A hooded figure appears, shooting at them.

Castle and Beckett duck back behind the sedan, using it for cover.

The driver shoots McCallister four times in the center of his chest, killing him.

The numbers on the countdown clock, which had read 0:41:38, begin ticking down at a rate that suggests it will detonate in less than a minute, now that McCallister's pulse has ceased and no longer regulates the timer connected to the explosive device.

Castle and Beckett look at one another.

The driver, whose face is still in complete shadow due to the hoodie, walks back to the doorway, pauses, points the gun at the security camera, and pulls the trigger.

 _[Static]_


	47. Chapter 47

_[Recording]_

Day Forty Seven.

Castle and I were stuck in front of a bomb today, and there was a moment where we were sure we were going to die. He closed his eyes, and...

I kissed him.

 _I_ kissed _him_.

I'll never forget his face. Because he opened his eyes, he looked at me, he grabbed all the wires and then he just yanked them. All of them.

Later, he shrugged and told me he figured one of them had to be the right one.

We didn't talk about the kiss, though.

 _[End recording]_


	48. Chapter 48

_[Recording]_

Day Forty Eight.

Today was spent in cleanup mode – dealing with McCallister's body, analyzing the explosive device, scrubbing the security footage for any clue as to the identity of the driver of the van.

I also spent some time with Castle, assessing the condition of my cover. He knows my mother was a spy – he spoke of that with childlike glee – but he does not seem to suspect that I myself am one. I was able to pass off any information I did discover as coming from one of my Mom's "old friends" which he interpreted as "associate from within the CIA."

The hardest part about lying is keeping track of the truth...

...and the knowledge that Castle is going to hate me when he finds out.

 _[End recording]_


	49. Chapter 49

_[Recording]_

Day Forty Nine.

It turns out Castle's interest in the Old Haunt, both in meeting Hunt there and choosing it as the venue for his date with Sophia, had another purpose, too. He had heard it was about to close, and had put in an offer to buy the place, and the sale closed today. He invited his entire inner circle, including me and my "roommates", to have celebratory drinks there tonight. It was a very enjoyable evening.

One of the funniest – and professionally, a little worrying – parts of the night was watching Alexis's face when she saw Esposito – she clearly recognized him, but couldn't seem to place him. He spent the evening avoiding her – I think all that shopping in Paris scarred him.

Sophia was there, too, but she seemed to be more interested in wandering off alone and exploring the store rooms than enjoying a drink with her boyfriend – not that I was sorry to be able to talk to him without feeling like the third wheel. Castle is full of plans for the place. He told me there's a secret office downstairs he plans to claim as his own, but he didn't get a chance to show me tonight with everyone there.

After the intensity of the last several days, it was a relief to be able to just relax and celebrate being friends.

 _[End recording]_


	50. Chapter 50

_[Recording]_

Day Fifty.

About an hour after I got home last night, I got an excited phone call from Castle. He had stayed behind to clean up and sort some things out, and he was poking around in his new office, and stumbled across a secret passage that he wanted to explore... and he didn't want to do it alone. When I got there, I asked why he hadn't asked Sophia along instead. Judging by his face, I suspect he'd forgotten all about his girlfriend until that second. Besides, apparently Sophia has little patience for tales of bootleggers during the Prohibition.

We had to move a bookcase, and sure enough... there was a secret passage. Once I had convinced him not to set us both on fire with a torch made from a roll of toilet paper balanced on a plunger, and to use a regular flashlight instead, we explored the tunnel, rats and all. The tunnel led to the sewer, which, according to Castle's excited rambling, flows out to the East River. There may also be other tunnels from the old sewer system interconnecting with this one, which aren't in use any longer.

Could this be how Hunt managed to get in and out of the city without ever being detected by the agency? Might he have stashed the intel down there instead of with Castle?

 _[End recording]_


	51. Chapter 51

_[Recording]_

Day Fifty One.

Castle asked me to come hang out today, which turned out to be a mistake. Apparently Sophia has been called away on a mission, something "top secret" that he's "not supposed to know about" so he spent most of our time rambling on about how they barely see each other because she's so focused on finding Hunt, whom Castle believes is a "Bad Guy who has been selling intel to the Chinese that might start World War Three."

At least she's keeping a few of the details of the case from him.

The last thing I needed today was to listen to him ramble on about how cool it is that his girlfriend knows how to make an explosive device out of a piece of string and a carton of eggs. If only he knew that I was mentally listing off 158 different ways to permanently silence him on the subject of his girlfriend, using only objects within a three foot radius of where we were sitting.

 _[End recording]_


	52. Chapter 52

_[Recording]_

Day Fifty Two.

Royce showed up today. Turns out he's bounty hunting now that he's out of the agency, and happened to be in Tunisia tracking an escaped human trafficker who was living over there under an assumed identity, so didn't get my message. He was really sorry to have missed all the business with Raglan and McCallister – he hadn't had a lot to do with them in the agency, but he felt he might have been useful in the investigation. I told him a little about my current mission, and he said he was staying in town for a few days, so he'd be sure to remember my cover.

It was really good to see him.

 _[End recording]_


	53. Chapter 53

_[Recording]_

Day Fifty Three.

Castle and I were having a quiet drink down at the Old Haunt when Royce sauntered in. He introduced himself as "Nikki's favorite TA from when she was an undergrad" and the person who first encouraged me to pursue my doctorate. Surprisingly, it fits our cover well. Castle and Royce hit it off right away, trading stories and laughing. He mentioned he was into bounty hunting now, and Castle started asking him questions about his job "for research!"

Royce pulled out his phone and showed us a photo of Hunt, telling us that was his current mark. Castle paled visibly, said he knew the guy, and knew he was into something bad, but hadn't realized it was "bounty hunter bad".

He identified Hunt as a contact he had used at times for research, named Anderson Cross.

 _[End recording]_


	54. Chapter 54

_[Recording]_

Day Fifty Four.

Castle called me today and asked me to meet him at the Old Haunt – but not for a drink.

He didn't talk until we were down in his secret office.

I knew when Royce was talking to him about "Anderson Cross" yesterday that Castle wasn't being entirely honest, but today he told me everything – that Cross has been a research contact of Castle's since Castle wrote his first bestseller upstairs in one of the booths of this very bar. He told me that he knew Cross had a sensitive position in covert operations, and that he used the Old Haunt as one of his "gateways" into the city in order to arrive and leave without detection, using tunnels from the old sewer system to get him around without being picked up by the increasing number of security cameras around the city.

I asked him why he was telling me all this, and not Royce or Sophia. He told me it's because he trusts me – and because I'm "not connected to law enforcement, like they are."

Castle wanted to have another look down in the tunnel, to see if we could find any evidence of Hunt being down there.

Instead, all we found was Royce's phone.

 _ _[End recording]__


	55. Chapter 55

_[Transcript of incoming phone call to Agent Beckett's personal number at 12:18pm. Traced to public phone booth, LaGuardia Airport, Terminal A. Transcribed by Agent Kevin Ryan]_

Beckett: Beckett.

Royce: It's me.

Beckett: Royce! What the hell is going on? Where are you?

Royce: I had to skip town, kid. Nature of the business. Listen, I just need you to know that I didn't mean for it to go like this.

Beckett: You used me to get Castle to tell you Hunt's alias. Why?

Royce: There's a lot of powerful people looking for Hunt just now. The money's too good on this one. And it's always been my job to keep you as far away from this case as possible.

Beckett: You were keeping me from my Mom's case?

Royce: That's why they made me your handler.

Beckett: Were you involved in her murder?

Royce: C'mon kid, you know me better than that.

Beckett: I don't think I do. Because the man that I knew wouldn't betray me like this.

Royce: I gotta go.

Beckett: Mike. I was in love with you.

Royce: Oh, Kate. Don't.

Beckett: You were the only one that understood the obsession that drove me. Who didn't tell me that I would get over my mother's death and that she wouldn't want me to do this. And now I find out you were part of covering it up?

Royce: Just … just trying to do right by you, kid.

Beckett: I'm going to find the son of a bitch behind this, Royce. I'm going to expose every agent involved in this. And when I arrest you, you're going to realize that what you destroyed today was worth a hell of a lot more than money.

 _[Call disconnected by Agent Beckett.]_


	56. Chapter 56

_[Recording]_

Day Fifty Six.

We spent most of yesterday tracking Royce's movements, and, thanks to an intercepted message, discovered that he planned to rendezvous with a contact in order to sell the intel about Hunt's alias.

I arrived at the meet before his contact.

He admitted his contact represented the Russians, said something about them being "closer to Castle than I could possibly imagine."

Then a sniper shot rang out, and Mike crumpled before my eyes, lifeless.

On the rooftop of the building directly across the street, I could clearly see a figure wearing a brown coat and a hoodie. Then the wind picked up, blowing the hoodie off.

I'd recognize Agent Sophia Turner's curls anywhere. She's the assassin.

And Castle's in more danger than ever.

[End recording]


	57. Chapter 57

_[Recording]_

Day Fifty Seven.

There was a note in Royce's pocket addressed to me, apologizing. Telling me that Castle and I have something genuine, and I shouldn't fight it.

Whether that's true or not, today's focus was on hunting down Sophia Turner, suspected Russian sleeper agent. I called Castle to find out if he had heard from her, and he told me they had a date tonight.

I arrived at the restaurant seconds before she did; we wound up in the kitchen, hand-to-hand fighting . I stabbed her with a seven inch filleting knife, but I'm pretty sure it wasn't fatal. She managed to escape, and we have no idea where she wound up. I called Castle from the alley outside, told him I'd been mugged to explain my bruises, and said I was too scared to go home alone.

At least if he's sleeping on my couch, Sophia can't break into the loft and kill him in his sleep.

 _ _[End recording]__


	58. Chapter 58

__[__ _WABC-TV_ _ _N__ _ _ews Bulletin]__

...In local news, an apartment in SoHo exploded last night, in what officials say was a gas leak. While there are no confirmed fatalities, millionaire mystery novelist Richard Castle, who lives across the street and sources say was visiting the apartment, has been taken to hospital with a mild concussion. A female resident was also home at the time of the incident, but walked away unharmed.

Now in sports news...


	59. Chapter 59

_[Recording]_

Day Fifty Nine.

Sophia Turner is dead.

A tactical team lead by myself and Agent Esposito took her out as she was boarding a helicopter.

Castle is being kept in hospital one more night for observation. He was only knocked out for a couple of moments in the blast – he hit his head on the faucet as we dove into the bath taking cover from the blast, so the doctors just want to be sure everything is okay.

Since taking out Sophia, Ryan, Esposito, and I have been running cleanup. I don't think any of us have slept in well over 48 hours.

It's not like we have an apartment to sleep in.

At least with Sophia gone, Castle is safe.

 _ _[End recording]__


	60. Chapter 60

_[Recording]_

Day Sixty.

Castle was discharged from hospital today. Martha and Alexis were there bright and early, fussing over him, and before I could sneak out – I napped in the chair by his bed, just to be sure no one else was coming to harm him – all three of them were insisting that I come stay in the guest room of the loft, for as long as I need.

Considering I can barely close my eyes without seeing him curling around me in the cast iron bath tub that saved our lives, I agreed probably faster than I should.

This is good, though. What better way to keep an eye on an asset than live with him in his home?

 _ _[End recording]__


	61. Chapter 61

_[Recording]_

Day Sixty One.

I, uh... I wasn't completely honest about the whole explosion thing. Castle said something when we were huddled in the bathtub, right before he blacked out. Only, he hasn't said anything since, so I don't even know if he remembers it, or if he meant it or anything, so I don't know what to do about it.

He, um... _[cough] ..._ he told me he's in love with me.

 _[End recording]_


	62. Chapter 62

_[Recording]_

Day Sixty Two.

The Castles are such a loud, busy, welcoming household. It's been a bit of a shock to the system, really. Yesterday wasn't so bad – Castle was still recovering, so we had a movie day and kept things fairly quiet – but today, Alexis was dashing off in one direction and Martha in another, and Castle is rapidly regaining his usual energy.

He received notification about Sophia's defection and death this afternoon (from Ryan, although Castle doesn't know that). He went very quiet after that. I asked him after dinner if he's doing okay, and he said he should have known – but that, in a way, he was kind of relieved. He said they should never have tried to rekindle things, that Sophia had never been more than a mirage – everything he thought he wanted, but never real once he got close.

My heart aches for him, though.

 _[End recording]_


	63. Chapter 63

_[Recording]_

Day Sixty Three.

Castle spent most of today writing. He won't tell me what his current project is yet, but he seems happy to be working on something new, with fresh characters and a fresh world. Meanwhile, I spent some quality "girl time" with Alexis. She's a sweet kid, and incredibly perceptive. She made me a hot cocoa with "double chocolate, double marshmallows!" – the way she makes them for her dad when she thinks he needs a pick-me-up. We mostly talked about what college is like, and her subjects and the things she wants to do. She has big dreams and is incredibly smart and resourceful; it's tempting to offer her a place in our cadets program, but to do that I'd have to break my cover completely. Maybe when this is all over.

If either of them are still speaking to me, that is. After all, it's not just Castle I'm lying to – it's his whole family.

 _ _[End recording]__


	64. Chapter 64

_[Recording]_

Day Sixty Four.

I went for a run this morning, bright and early. I haven't been in much of a routine since I started this mission, and it was so good to get out there and push my physical endurance. I got home, sweaty and exhausted, and stood in front of the open refrigerator to drink a bottle of water in order to cool down before I went upstairs to have a shower.

I closed the refrigerator door, turned, and walked straight into Castle, who was zombie-walking for the coffee. Who, it turns out, sleeps in his boxers this time of year.

Only boxers.

And he was kind of sleepy, too, so when I stumbled into him, he just kind of held onto me for a really long moment.

He, uh... he has a lot more muscle than it seems from those surveillance videos.

Remind me to burn this recording if there's ever any danger of it getting into Ryan or Esposito's hands?

 _[End Recording]_


	65. Chapter 65

_[Recording]_

Day Sixty Five.

I didn't get much sleep last night. I woke up only about an hour after I went to sleep – had a nightmare about the bomb and Sophia and... it was all just a little too much.

I kept thinking I was hearing noises, so after my third perimeter check, I wound up sneaking into Castle's room. He has a chair in the corner that's more comfortable than some of the places I've been forced to snatch sleep in my career, and I woke a little after 5am and crept back up to my room, so he won't even know I was there.

I just needed to reassure myself that he really is safe.

 _[End Recording]_


	66. Chapter 66

_[Recording]_

Day Sixty Six.

Castle introduced me to his newest breakfast invention this morning, called a "s'morelette". Thankfully the name gave me warning that yes, it has chocolate in it. Surprisingly, it's not as disgusting as it sounds... but there's no way I'm telling Castle that. It's way more fun to let him think I hate it. He gets this over-eager puppy dog look and his eyes get really big and blue and he goes all pouty and... well, it's adorable.

Not that he needs to know that .

 _[End Recording]_


	67. Chapter 67

_[Recording]_

Day Sixty Seven.

Castle had a meeting at Black Pawn today, to do with his new book. Since I'm meant to be shadowing him anyway for my "thesis", and since I'm not totally convinced he's out of danger, I asked if I could come, too. I was surprised when he seemed reluctant. He's always been eager to have me around. Martha kept making things worse by murmuring things about "finding out sooner or later".

When we got to the meeting, Gina asked if the new character had a name yet, and Castle threw me such a guilty look that I understood.

He's basing his new character on me.

This is a disaster. I'm meant to be a covert operative, not a celebrity novelist's muse.

Even if it is kind of sweet.

 _[End Recording]_


	68. Chapter 68

_[Recording]_

Day Sixty Eight.

Castle told me more about his book today. He originally had the character as a college student drawn into investigating a murder, but I gathered yesterday that his publishers aren't happy with those details, and none of them like the name he's been using. He says he wishes he could think of "something a little more badass – like your name, Nikki!"

Once I'm done with this mission, he'll be welcome to the name. It's not like I'll be needing it again.

Sometimes I wonder what his voice would sound like saying my real name.

 _[End Recording]_


	69. Chapter 69

_[Recording]_

Day Sixty Nine.

I had a really great heart to heart with Martha today, talking about what she remembered of Castle's father. This family sure knows how to spin a dramatic tale – but even through the flare, I could see how much the memories affected her. Castle came in toward the end of the conversation, and although he immediately started teasing his mother, it was plain to see how much he cares about her.

Richard Castle may be handsome, successful, intelligent, rich, charming, and funny, but sometimes I think the way he cares for his family is the most attractive thing about him.

 _[End Recording]_


	70. Chapter 70

_[Recording]_

Day Seventy.

I almost kissed Castle today.

We were arguing over the best Sci-Fi show - he found out I like Nebula 9, and was ranting about how that Joss Whedon show is infinitely better, and suddenly we were right up in each other's faces and his lips were at my eye level and he mumbled that I smell like cherries and his eyes turned this deep, hungry blue, and...

Well, it's a really good thing Martha and Alexis came home just then, or who knows what would have happened.

I need to get a grip. This is getting way out of hand. I'm a professional. I need to start acting like it.

 _[End Recording]_


	71. Chapter 71

_[Recording]_

Day Seventy One.

It's been so long since I've done nothing all day. There was a Temptation Lane marathon on TV, and Castle caught me watching it so he abandoned writing for the day and we just curled up on the couch and watched it all day. I found myself reminiscing about my Mom and how we used to watch it together when I was sick. I know, I know, I shouldn't be sharing real things with Castle - it goes against everything I've been taught in this job.

Sometimes I wish we had met in a different life, so we could be... something.

 _[End Recording]_


	72. Chapter 72

_[Recording]_

Day Seventy Two.

Castle opened up to me today a little more about his background in writing. He spoke warmly of a friend of his who encouraged him to write, and how lonely it was for him in boarding school - how he was bounced from one school to the next.

I'm beginning to hate it when he opens up to me like that, because I know that sooner or later he's going to find out I've been lying to him all this time. I need to focus on my mission, on gaining Castle's trust and recovering the intel Hunt gave him. Not on the fact that Castle doesn't even know my real name. I just need to...

Castle?!

 _[...static...]_


	73. Chapter 73

_[Recording]_

Day Seventy Four.

I'm kind of surprised there IS a day seventy four. It's been a hell of a 48 hours.

Castle knows.

He overheard me making my report, and... to say he was hurt is an understatement. I would never have believed he could be so angry.

It was worse than I could have imagined.

So I left. Headed straight for DC, and reported personally to Agent Montgomery. I was stuck in meetings all day yesterday.

In the end, Montgomery insisted that, cover or not, I come back and finish this mission "...even if it's from a distance. Find a way, Beckett."

So here I am, in a hotel room, reviewing the last 48 hours worth of surveillance footage. As if being there to hurt Castle wasn't bad enough, I also got to witness him sobbing in the shower after I left.

I don't think he's ever going to speak to me again.

 _[End Recording]_


	74. Chapter 74

_[Recording]_

The worst part of this whole thing is that Castle genuinely believes that I was playing a part the whole time, when the truth is...

The truth is, I just lost my best friend.

 _[End Recording]_


	75. Chapter 75

_[Recording]_

Day Seventy Six.

Castle sent his mother and daughter out for the day so that he could mope alone. I don't know what he's told them. I can only hope they don't hate me, too. The only productive thing he did was read a battered paperback copy of Casino Royale that I feel like I've seen before. Probably at the loft, I guess.

I've been trying to resist the urge to call him. This isn't exactly something that can be fixed over the phone, and besides, it's not like he'll pick up.

Will he?

I mean, he might...?

No harm in trying, though, right?

 _[End Recording]_


	76. Chapter 76

_[Recording]_

He didn't answer.

 _[End Recording]_


	77. Chapter 77

_[Recording]_

Day Seventy Eight.

Castle called Esposito today to ask if he could drop by our hotel suite to talk to me.

When he arrived, he was... quite gracious, considering. He heard me out as I apologized, asked a few questions about my mission that I shouldn't have answered. But it was all so stiff, and formal, and lifeless. His spark was gone, and I know I'm to blame for that.

He looked so… tired.

He asked me again if any of it was real.

He told me I was maddening, frustrating, challenging. He told me he was in love with me – at least, the version of me he had known.

He told me that if I could prove to him that something in our relationship was real, that he meant more to me than being a spy, he would be able to forgive me.

I had nothing, no way to prove it.

So, he left, and didn't look back.

That's it, then. We're over.

 _[End Recording]_


	78. Chapter 78

_[Recording]_

Day Seventy Nine.

I'm still beating myself up over yesterday. Why am I so bad with words?

I wanted to tell him everything. I wanted to tell him why I couldn't tell him everything. I wanted to remind him I'm a spy, and telling him anything about me goes against every rule there is.

I wanted to tell him that telling him would only put him in danger, that knowing who I really am… is dangerous. Some very scary people could do some very horrible things to him to get him to talk, if they found out that he knows who I am.

I've been going over it again and again, and there's nothing real that I could tell him that would be enough to convince him to forgive me.

What am I meant to give him? My real name?

Oh, God.

I can't... Can I?

 _[End Recording]_


	79. Chapter 79

_[Recording]_

Day Eighty.

What it boils down to is...

What matters to me more? Having Castle in my life? Or being a spy?

If I give Castle what he wants, it means that one day I'm going to have to choose.

Being a spy is the only connection I have left with my Mom.

 _[End Recording]_


	80. Chapter 80

_[Recording]_

Day Eighty One.

Things are calm for once. The boys are out, and there's nothing really to report... Except I still find myself sitting here, talking to myself, because...

...because I love him.

I love Richard Castle, and I don't know what to do about it.

 _[End Recording]_


	81. Chapter 81

_[Surveillance footage of Castle loft, transcribed by Agent Ryan]_

 _Castle is sitting at the desk in his office, staring at a lamp. There is a knock on the door. He stands, walks to the door, and opens it._

Castle: Nikki, what do you want?

Beckett: It's Kate, Castle. My name is Kate. Kate Beckett.

 _He hesitates, and she bites her lip as she waits for him to decide. He shifts to let her in._

Castle: That's your real name? Not just another cover identity?

Beckett: It's real. It's all real. It's... it's all I have. It's my name. It's me.

Castle: Kate Beckett.

 _Castle appears to think for a moment. Beckett looks nervous, shifting from one foot to the other._

Castle: It suits you.

 _Beckett smiles, letting out a deep breath, her shoulders lowering._

Beckett: I have so much I want to tell you. You need to know how sorry I am. I was only trying to protect you.

Castle: You were doing your job, I get that. I just... was any of it real?

Beckett: The things that matter, yes.

Castle: Do you... could you ever...

Beckett: Yes. I choose you. Over being a spy, over investigating my mother's case... I choose you.

 _Castle kisses Beckett once, make that twice. He backs her up against the door. They continue to kiss as Castle begins unbuttoning her shirt. She pulls away and smiles at him, takes his hand, and leads him to the bedroom._

 _Beckett then removes her shirt and deliberately drapes it over the spot where the bedroom camera is located._

 _[Note from Agent Ryan: In the interests of maintaining Agent Beckett's privacy, I am not transcribing the audio surveillance after this point as there is nothing pertinent to the mission, other than that Agent Beckett's relationship with the Asset has... escalated. Three times.]_

 _[End of Transcript]_


	82. Chapter 82

_[Recording]_

Day Eighty Two.

So, uh, that happened.

 _[Castle yelling:]_ Three times!

Castle! Would you stop being so smu–

 _[End Recording]_


	83. Chapter 83

_[Recording]_

Day Eighty Three.

Castle's still in bed. I think I wore him out.

The last couple of days have been incredible. Not just the sex – and believe me, it is amazing – but being able to finally be honest with him.

I showed him the records I've been keeping. We had to stop several times throughout to talk about things, and he's still hurting about a lot of it, but he also understands now why I couldn't tell him the truth.

After calling the boys and discussing it with both them and Castle, we've all agreed to remove surveillance from Castle's bedroom and bathroom in exchange for his full cooperation. It was Castle who suggested leaving the cameras in the living areas – "just in case they send another Sophia".

They better not.

I'm just... I don't think I've been this happy since Mom was alive. I didn't think I ever would be again.

 _[End Recording]_


	84. Chapter 84

_[Recording]_

Day Eighty Four.

Castle and I spent some time today going over the details of my mission. He honestly had no idea that Jackson Hunt – or, as he knew him, Anderson Cross – was his father. He's been meeting Hunt on and off for years, and never had a clue.

I'm back at the hotel tonight. Castle wanted to spend the evening with Martha and Alexis, and explain at least broadly why I'll be answering to Kate rather than Nikki from now on. I suspect he will also be wanting to ask Martha a few questions about his father.

Tomorrow we're going to go through the intel that Hunt gave to Castle, although Castle says he's looked through it several times and there's nothing unusual about it.

It's just an ordinary paperback copy of _Casino Royale_.

 _[End Recording]_


	85. Chapter 85

_[Recording]_

Day Eighty Five.

Spending a night apart from Castle last night was hell. I've never been the clingy type, but with Castle...

I was there in time for breakfast. Castle's talk with Martha and Alexis must have gone well, as they both seemed okay with me being there. Martha in particular has taken a shine to my real name – she called me Katherine as she breezed out the door. I'd forgotten what it's like to have a Mom fuss over me like that, even if Martha's style of mothering is very different from my mom's.

When they'd finally left, we headed for the bedroom.

That man can... Wow.

Anyway, he was helping me take off my jeans and was pressing kisses to the tattoo on my hip, when he stopped and stared at it for a moment, and said "That's where I've seen that before!" Obviously I was a little too distracted to ask him what he meant at the time – let's just say that talking isn't the only thing his mouth is good at – but once we were both... satisfied... he asked me about it. I explained that my Mom left me her ring, and I wanted to wear on a chain around my neck to remind me of her, only I was scared of losing it on a mission, so I got a tattoo of it instead – on my hip where it would be a lot less obvious.

He got up then, and fetched the copy of _Casino Royale_ that Hunt gave him. Inside the front cover, there was a doodle of the setting of my Mom's ring, almost identical to my tattoo.

What the _hell_ is a picture of my Mom's ring doing inside Castle's Dad's book?

 _[End Recording]_


	86. Chapter 86

_[Recording]_

Day Eighty Six.

We've spent the last two days going over and over the book, and aside from the doodle in the front cover, it's just an ordinary copy of _Casino Royale_. There are a few random pen marks in the text, too – that's the only other distinguishing feature, but they don't seem to mean anything.

Castle has all kinds of conspiracy theories, of course. He gets this adorable look on his face when he gets all excited and...

Well, let's just say I now have a very effective method of shutting him up.

 _[End Recording]_


	87. Chapter 87

_[Recording]_

Star Date 43616.9

All is quiet on the Western Front. Agent Kate Beckett, spy, assassin, and ninja extraordinaire, is sleeping peacefully in the other room, worn out by the creative and ruggedly handsome writer whose bed she has been sharing. The loft is peaceful, serene, cloaked in darkness, nestled away amongst the apartments of New York City.

The writer pauses in his thoughts, crosses the room to pour himself two fingers of scotch to keep him company this night, as the dame of his dreams slumbers in the-

 _[Beckett, from the bedroom:]_ Castle, what are you doing?

Kate! Nothing! Nothing at al-

 _[End Recording]_


	88. Chapter 88

_[Recording]_

Day Eighty Eight.

After a LOT of theory building and discussion, the only thing that makes sense to either of us is that there is some kind of code in the book, and the key to it is my Mom's ring – which is in storage up at my Dad's, a few hours' drive away. Castle joked that since I can't both watch him and go visit Dad, he should come, too.

I don't think he was expecting me to say yes.

I'll never forget the look of terror that crossed his face, but he squared his shoulders and agreed.

He's going to meet my Dad tomorrow.

 _[End Recording]_


	89. Chapter 89

_[Recording]_

Day Eighty Nine.

The drive out to my Dad's was amazing. I can't remember the last time I got to just drive somewhere, with someone I love, free of burdens.

Castle was a nervous wreck.

Even more so when he saw the security protocols my Dad has in place around his property. It didn't help that Dad greeted him at gunpoint.

Once a spy, always a spy, I guess.

I told Dad everything, though, once he was convinced Castle's not an immediate threat. He clearly doesn't want to believe me but I know his tells. He wants to know more, to figure it out, but he set the spy life aside once and for all after Mom died, and seems reluctant to get involved again. He did offer to let us stay out here for a couple of nights, so that's... good, I guess?

I found Mom's ring in the jewelry box in my old room. Now we just need to figure out how to decipher the book.

 _[End Recording]_


	90. Chapter 90

_[Recording]_

Day Ninety.

My Dad is an example of what happens when a spy quits the agency. He's never felt comfortable in civilization, and after beating his alcoholism, he bought this property up here on the lake, surrounded by woods and excellent surveillance equipment, and is now, for all intents and purposes, a complete recluse. He doesn't trust new people. In his mind, they're always going to be a hired assassin until proven otherwise.

So when he suggested that Castle come out with him for the day, I was surprised – but Castle was so excited, I ignored that nagging feeling.

Turns out my gut was right.

Dad came home an hour later. He'd left Castle, well and truly lost, in the woods. He said he wanted to, "see if this guy is who he says he is," and sat down to monitor how Castle reacted.

It took several hours of Castle being stuck out in the cold, wet woods before Dad finally admitted the poor guy has no survival training, and finally let me go out to find him.

I think Dad has realized that the only threat, if something happened to Castle, is me.

[End Recording]


	91. Chapter 91

_[Recording]_

Day Ninety One.

Castle spent most of today in our room, recovering from yesterday, which gave Dad and I a chance to really talk. I pointed out that if Castle was in any way a threat, there's no way I would have told him my real name let alone brought him out here. Dad replied that for all he knew, I was under some kind of duress and hadn't been able to warn him.

I told him that I'm finally happy, and asked him to accept Castle and not mess with him. He seemed reluctant, but agreed.

When Castle did appear, the three of us went for a walk around the lake, and Dad was almost a completely different person – more like the father I grew up with, rather than the recluse who lost his wife and was burned by the Agency. Thankfully, Castle's a forgiving guy, so there's still hope for them to build a relationship.

I didn't realize until today just how important it is to me that the two of them get along.

 _[End Recording]_


	92. Chapter 92

_[Recording]_

Day Ninety Two.

Dad got Castle up at the crack of dawn this morning, and they went fishing together. I don't know what was said between them on the lake, but by the time they got back, it's like they were long lost best friends.

I'm... I'm so relieved, I could cry.

I made brunch for them while they were out – pancakes and scrambled eggs and bacon and French toast, just like Mom and I used to do when Dad was out fishing, and I had the pan ready to cook some of their fish, too, the moment they returned, and it was... it was the first time that Dad and I have done that, since Mom...

...Only there wasn't a gaping hole anymore. We missed her, and it was definitely different, but...

Castle was there. So it was all okay.

 _[End Recording]_


	93. Chapter 93

_[Recording]_

Day Ninety Three.

We drove back to the city today. It was bittersweet saying goodbye to my Dad – due to the nature of my work, we never know when it will be the last time – and he and Castle were exchanging loaded looks and words, too.

Castle gave him a bear hug, which Dad wasn't too sure what to do with. Castle told me later that he didn't know what he was meant to do in that situation – he's never had a father figure, really.

Then he got super quiet – thinking about Hunt, probably.

There's nothing like returning to reality.

 _[End Recording]_


	94. Chapter 94

_[Recording]_

Day Ninety Four.

There were orders waiting for me when I got back to the city.

I can't... I tried contacting Agent Montgomery to see if... It's just all so out of the blue.

I don't know what to do.

My orders are to turn in the intel and terminate the asset.

I have to kill Castle.

 _[End Recording]_


	95. Chapter 95

_[Recording]_

Day Ninety Five.

Castle spent most of today poring over the book with Mom's ring.

I spent most of today planning to kill him.

Only, when I had the chance, I couldn't go through with it.

What kind of spy does that make me?

 _[End Recording]_


	96. Chapter 96

_[Recording]_

Day Ninety Six.

I know it's weird that I'm recording this in the bathroom with the shower running, but I scanned this room for bugs again just to be sure and there's still none planted in here. Ryan gave me a heads up that it looks like someone else within the CIA has been piggybacking on our surveillance feed, so until we figure out our next move, I'm going to have to at least look like I'm going along with my orders. I made a dummy recording earlier for show, but for the next few days I'm just going to have to keep pretending. I'm just glad I realized when I did yesterday, so I could doctor that report too.

Still haven't heard back from Agent Montgomery about where these new orders came from. They didn't come through usual passages, which makes the whole thing feel... off. It feels like someone higher up the food chain doesn't want this intel found, and they must be trying to silence everyone who knows about it who isn't completely loyal to them. That's why they want me to take out Castle – not only to silence him, but to prove my loyalty to the Agency.

I can't help feeling like Montgomery knew something like this would happen – that he at least suspects that someone is working against us from inside the Agency. Why else would he have ordered me from the very start to make these recordings, but to keep them personal and hidden away from official reports?

 _[End Recording]_


	97. Chapter 97

_[Recording]_

Day Ninety Seven.

I was so surprised with the new orders that, when I was considering possible methods a couple of days ago, I forgot to take into account a couple of things. Firstly, that he's well known enough that the method I choose needs to be convincing, as it will definitely make the news. Secondly, in no way can this lead back to me.

I need to plan an accident, basically.

I can't believe I'm even thinking about this

 _[End Recording]_


	98. Chapter 98

_[Recording]_

Day Ninety Eight.

I think I have a plan in place for this to happen.

The best time for it will be the day after tomorrow, when we're out and away from his family.

That will give me enough time, hopefully.

I wish Agent Montgomery would answer the damn phone.

 _[End Recording]_


	99. Chapter 99

_[Recording]_

Pah-na-na-na-na-na-na-na, pah-na-na-na-na-nah! Pah-na-na-na-na-na-na-na, pah-na-na-na-na-nah! Pah-na-na-na-naaaaaah-

 _[Beckett:]_ Castle! What're you doing?

 _[Crash]_

Nothin-

 _[Static]_


	100. Chapter 100

_[Recording]_

Day One Hundred.

Everything was going according to plan. I had him alone, and the accident staged ready to happen... and then we were interrupted.

Gee, it's too bad that I couldn't carry out my orders.

Then we went out for ice cream.

 _[End Recording]_


	101. Chapter 101

_[Recording]_

Day One Hundred and One.

Finally made contact with Agent Montgomery. He said he'd been dealing with an emergency situation for a few days and that's why he was unavailable for contact. The new orders are news to him, and as he's head of this operation, he has instructed me officially to cease and desist until he can verify those orders for himself.

So Castle is safe, for now.

I don't have to kill him.

Thank God.

 _[End Recording]_


	102. Chapter 102

_[Recording]_

Day One-Oh-Two.

Excuse the noise of the shower. I'm back in the bathroom today because until either Montgomery or Ryan finds out who has been piggybacking on our surveillance feed and where those orders to kill Castle came from, I don't dare be honest about my mission outside this room. I'm really excited about updating today, though, because between Castle and me, we did it.

We've cracked the code.

At first we thought that if we lined up the ring with the markings, it would circle a word, or that the setting would point to a word or a letter – but none of that worked. It wasn't until Castle was staring at the ring that he pointed out the setting is raised in such a way that there's a hole in it – big enough to show one letter.

It spelled out "A Me bec family".

When I wondered out loud what it meant, Castle looked at me with a big grin and said "I have no idea. Isn't it great?!" He's such an adorable goofbag. I'm so glad I'm not going through this alone.

 _[End Recording]_


	103. Chapter 103

_[Recording]_

Day One-Oh-Three.

Just met with Ryan and Espo here in the park. They've been doing some digging, and wanted to meet in person, away from the loft, so we could talk properly.

They brought Agent Montgomery's service history file to show me. There's a lot redacted from Hunt's file, but on Montgomery's, it clearly laid out in black and white.

Agent Montgomery was Jackson Hunt's partner for nine years. That partnership ended abruptly the week after my Mom's "accident" in Russia.

Montgomery has never said a word about it.

He might be in on it.

Oh, God.

 _[End Recording]_


	104. Chapter 104

_[Recording]_

Day One Hundred and Four.

I received a memo from Montgomery which states that the order to kill Castle came from the Director himself, and therefore still stands. Furthermore, if I do not carry it out with all expediency, a strike team will be sent out to take care of it for me, and I will, at the very least, be placed on suspension for insubordination. Should I actively stand in the way of the strike team, I will become collateral damage.

So, with that in mind, Castle and I will be going to the Old Haunt for a drink tonight, and from there we will implement the plan.

 _[End Recording]_


	105. Chapter 105

_[Surveillance footage from street cam outside the Old Haunt timestamped yesterday at 19:47. Transcribed by Agent Ryan.]_

Agent Beckett and Mr. Castle can be seen exiting a taxi cab. Both are carrying small overnight bags.

After paying the driver, they link hands, go down the steps to enter the bar, and out of shot.

 _[End of footage]_

 _[Addendum from Agent Ryan: It is to be noted that at this time, almost 24 hours later, there has yet to be footage of anyone even close to matching their description leaving the bar. Furthermore, when Agent Esposito and myself investigated at roughly 1800, neither Agent Beckett nor Mr. Castle were to be found inside._

 _It's like they just vanished into thin air.]_


	106. Chapter 106

_[Extract of memorandum sent from Agent Montgomery to Agent Beckett]_

Still awaiting your report. Has the Asset been terminated as ordered?

 _[Delivery status: sent; unopened.]_


	107. Chapter 107

_[Extract of memorandum sent from Agent Montgomery to Agents Esposito and Ryan]_

Agent Beckett's failure to report in means she is now listed as AWOL.

Your new assignment is to track down Agent Beckett and Mr. Castle, and return the stolen intel.

Use deadly force if necessary.


	108. Chapter 108

_[Extract of memorandum sent from Agent Esposito to Agent Montgomery]_

Using facial recognition, Agent Ryan was able to acquire a single shot of Agent Beckett recovered from the security cams at a gas station, recorded two days ago.

We regret to inform you that the information pertaining to the exact location and time of the footage was irretrievably lost before we could make official note of it, and thus no follow up could be made.


	109. Chapter 109

[Recording]

Day One-Oh-Nine.

We're safe, for now. I'm not going to say where we are, just in case, but... well, after a few days of being on the run, we've found a flea-ridden motel to stay in, so for tonight, at least, hopefully we should get some sleep. Castle calls this the "fugitive suite. The best room that cash and no ID can buy."

I don't even care that they're after us, that technically going against orders means I'm committing treason. We're here, and we're together, and we're okay.

That's enough for me.

[End Recording]


	110. Chapter 110

_[Recording]_

Day One-Ten.

Castle keeps joking about making sure I "keep recording my diary". The truth is, we're both worried that a sniper bullet could find us at any moment, and keeping up with these recordings may be the only way to communicate the truth of what's been happening, should that occur.

The truth is, we're on the run because we know too much. Castle, especially, because he's a civilian, and me because I'm clearly not siding with the faction within the CIA that my Mom's intel is apparently hiding.

The thing is, we still have more questions than we do answers. If Hunt took the book with the clue in it, but didn't have the ring – does that mean he doesn't know where my Mom hid the evidence, either? What the hell does the clue even mean? Why did he choose to involve Castle in all of this? And was Montgomery serious when he said that the orders to kill Castle came from the desk of Director Bracken himself?

 _[End Recording]_


	111. Chapter 111

_[Recording]_

Day One Hundred and Eleven.

Another day, another seedy hotel room in an undisclosed location. We've been on the run for a week now, and... well, it's starting to take it's toll.

Castle finally called Alexis today, all too briefly. He managed to get her into a month-long summer program at the last minute, and told her he was going media silent while finishing his book. He thinks she's a little suspicious, but so far seems to be buying it.

Hopefully this will all be over by the time she's due home, and she will never have to know that her Dad is on the run for his life because the Director of the CIA has put out an illegal hit order on a US citizen within our own country where he doesn't have jurisdiction.

Martha left for some spa week up in the mountains the day before this all hit the fan, and Castle got a message from her just today saying that she's headed down to Florida for a few weeks with some of her new friends, so she doesn't even know there's anything wrong.

Let's hope it stays that way.

In the meantime, we need to start doing some digging of our own and start figuring this thing out. I'm getting tired of being one step behind all this way. And I think the best place to start is by doing a full background check on Agent Montgomery, because nothing about his behavior on this mission has made any sense.

 _[End Recording]_


	112. Chapter 112

_[Recording]_

Day One Hundred and Twelve.

Don't ask how – let's just say Castle's not the only one who knows how to get classified information from the CIA without being traced – I was able to do some digging on Montgomery. Turns out there's a lot I didn't know.

Not only was he Hunt's partner for years, like Ryan and Espo pointed out to me, but his training officers were Agents Raglan and McCallister, the sorry excuses for agents who "investigated" my mother's death and ruled it an "accident".

Also, Montgomery joined the CIA 19 years ago.

Has he been working for McCallister's "Dragon" all this time? Was he involved in my Mom's "accident", too?

 _[End Recording]_


	113. Chapter 113

_[Recording]_

Day One Hundred and Thirteen.

We were doing so well, staying one step ahead of the CIA, but that was never going to last.

Agent Montgomery made contact via the burner phone Castle got to talk to Alexis, and says he wants to meet. There is no way for this to end well, but Castle and I talked about it, and… we can't keep running forever.

We have to go in assuming it's a trap, though.

The meet's going down in a hangar just a couple of hours from here, at 21:00 tomorrow. If someone finds this, and this is the last recording, it means we failed.

And we are probably dead.

 _[End Recording]_


	114. Chapter 114

_[Recording]_

It's oh-five-hundred on day one hundred and fourteen.

Castle and I are up early and everything's just about packed and ready to go. The meet with Montgomery isn't until tonight, but our aim is to get there as early as possible to see where they plant agents. That should give us an advantage, which we'll need if there's any hope of–

 _[Loud crash as the door to their room bangs open]_

 _[Agent Montgomery:]_ There's a tactical team less than five minutes behind me. They know where you are.

 _[Beckett:]_ Put the gun away, Roy.

 _[Montgomery:]_ You have to get moving, Kate. Now.

 _[Beckett:]_ Just tell me why.

 _[Montgomery:]_ I was a rookie when it happened, Kate. McCallister and Raglan were heroes to me. They told me it was my Red Test – that I had to take out an arms dealer called Pulgatti. Bob Armen was an undercover FBI Security agent, who wasn't even supposed to be there. I shot the wrong man. McCallister and Raglan tried to drown it, but not me. I put it all into the job, Kate. I became the best Agent I could be. And then when you were assigned to my team, I felt the hand of God. I knew He was giving me another chance, and I thought I could protect you the way I should have protected her.

 _[Beckett:]_ Did you help them kill her?

 _[Montgomery:]_ No, that was years later. But she died because of what we did that night. And now they're coming. I need you to leave. They're coming to kill you and I'm not going to let them. I'm going to end this.

 _[Beckett:]_ I'm not going anywhere, Sir.

 _[Montgomery:]_ Yes, you are. Castle, get her out of here.

 _[Castle:]_ I–

 _[Montgomery:]_ Don't argue. Get her out of here. Now!

 _[Beckett:]_ Please, just listen to me. You don't have to do this.

 _[Castle:]_ Kate!

 _[Beckett:]_ No, please! No. Sir. I forgive you. I forgive you!

 _[Montgomery:]_ This is my spot, Kate. This is where I stand.

 _[Beckett:]_ No, no!

 _[Montgomery:]_ Castle.

 _[Beckett:]_ No! No, sir, please listen to me! You don't have to do this!

 _[Montgomery:]_ Castle! Get her out of here, now!

 _[Beckett:]_ You don't have to do this, Sir– No! God, Castle! Let me go! No! Let me go! Please!

 _[They exit the motel room. Moments later, distant shouting and then rapid gunfire can be heard, eventually muffled by the slam of the car door and Castle starting the engine.]_

 _[Beckett, crying:]_ Rick, please…

 _[End Recording.]_


	115. Chapter 115

_[ABC News Bulletin]_

"...In tonight's top story, the Director of the CIA, William Bracken, is running for President. The announcement was made at a press conference this afternoon in Washington DC."

 _[Bracken, at press conference:]_ Those of you who know me know that I have gotten where I am today by doing whatever it takes to get the job done. That is the kind of leadership the country needs and that is why I am forming an exploratory committee for a run for the Presidency of the United States.

"Senator Bracken, an early frontrunner, is rumored to have significant funding already lined up from major contributors.

Also in tonight's news..."


	116. Chapter 116

_[Recording]_

Day One Hundred and Sixteen.

We haven't stopped moving since Montgomery... Since the motel. It's the only way to keep ahead of the CIA.

We're flying completely blind here, and we desperately need some answers.

I've convinced Castle to see if he can make contact with Hunt.

 _[End Recording]_


	117. Chapter 117

_[Recording]_

Day One Hundred and Seventeen.

We met up with Hunt today, at a truck stop in the middle of nowhere. Watching Castle's face as his father drove a big rig in was priceless.

We haven't had much to laugh about lately.

And the whole start to the conversation was off, because it was the first time they had spoken since Castle found out Hunt is his father. My heart broke for him, because there really wasn't time for personal questions. They did spend a little time reminiscing over their first meet as researcher/contact. Apparently Castle paid in cash that he gave to Hunt in an old briefcase with one of those combination locks, because he wanted to feel "more like a spy".

He sure knows a lot more about the spy life now.

But I feel like we now finally have some honest answers. Hunt's been keeping closer tabs on things than I thought, and he already knew that we're on the run and that we know more than we did last time I met him, way back at Castle's book party. That feels like a lifetime ago.

So what we now know is this: nineteen years ago, Raglan and McCallister got into doing unsanctioned hits on arms smugglers. When they were assigned to train a rookie agent, Montgomery, they gave him orders to take out an arms dealer, Pulgatti, who was actually a rat, meeting with Bob Armand, an undercover agent. Things went south, Armand wound up dead, and the Agency sent in an investigator to find out what happened – an up and coming hotshot called Bracken, who found out everything and agreed to make it all go away – for the price of the occasional favor. Faced with some serious jail time, they agreed.

What they didn't know was that Pulgatti escaped, took on a new identity, and disappeared. What they also didn't know is that Bracken saw the profit potential in arms and secrets smuggling, and began to foster relationships with, in particular, high-up Russian operatives, as well as local arms dealers. Using his inside knowledge, he was able to advance up the ranks of the CIA by successfully taking out all competition to his own interests, until he basically had a monopoly on the market. He was also able to build for himself an army within an army of CIA agents that were loyal to him above all.

Montgomery was one of these, but only because he had to be. Once that debacle died down, he was reassigned to be Hunt's partner, and the two of them worked very closely for many years. It was only when Bracken, out of the blue, called up Montgomery for another "favor" that Montgomery decided enough was enough, and he and Hunt began working together to bring Bracken down.

By then, Hunt was also my mother's handler, and while he and Montgomery began collecting evidence against Bracken from here in the US, my Mom went to Russia to start tracking down Pulgatti and the Russian end of the arms dealers. I was in basic training, and my Dad was an analyst, and Mom was flying back and forth between Russia and here. It was too risky for Montgomery or even Hunt to hold on to the intel, and by then my Mom was fully committed to bringing Bracken down – it was right around the time Bracken was looking to become the Director – so she hid the evidence they were accumulating. They actually had enough for a case right about the time that my Mom disappeared, and the book containing the clue about the location went missing. It wasn't until just a couple of months ago that Hunt was able to track it down, but doing so alerted Bracken to his movements, so he had to disappear.

Hunt also said that Montgomery hand-picked me for this assignment because of the connection to my Mom. He was able to play the "my ex-partner is now my arch nemesis" card to get himself assigned to leading the operation against Hunt, and that way was able to offer both Hunt and me some level of protection.

But that's why he told me to keep this log, and to keep it away from official records.

Montgomery was on our side all along, and he sacrificed himself to save us.

Now we need to take down that bastard Bracken so that none of this was in vain.

 _[End Recording]_


	118. Chapter 118

_[Recording]_

Day One Hundred and Eighteen.

Castle has been restricting himself to calling Alexis once a week. It's been painful, but he knows we need to stay off the grid. Today was phonecall day.

Apparently the people running the program have been trying to get hold of him all day.

Alexis is missing. No one's seen her since she went to bed last night.

Oh, God.

 _[End Recording]_


	119. Chapter 119

_[Recording]_

Day One Hundred and Nineteen.

It's even worse than we thought.

We got a ransom demand for Alexis. In exchange for the intel as well as Castle and I turning ourselves over to them, they will let her go free.

After all this time and effort from the Agency, it turns out it's not even the CIA who has her.

It's the arms dealer responsible for 90% of the illegal weapons in New York City alone: Vulcan Simmons.

 _[End Recording]_


	120. Chapter 120

_[Recording]_

Day One Hundred and Twenty.

Castle and I had a huge argument after the phone call from the kidnappers yesterday. He said we should give them everything they want – anything to save Alexis. But every bit of my training tells me that if we do that, all three of us will end up dead.

When I woke up this morning, Castle was gone.

So was _Casino Royale_.

 _[End Recording]_


	121. Chapter 121

_[Recording]_

Day One Hundred and Twenty One.

Alexis is being held in a mansion in Scarsdale. I have no idea where Castle is, or whether he has a plan, or if he's even still alive. All I know is that I have to save his daughter, even if it means they take me instead.

Castle, if you find this... I love you. I'm in love with you, more than I ever thought possible. I'm so sorry you got dragged into this – but, even with all the crazy stuff that's happened, these last few weeks have been the best of my whole life. And I hope you never have to hear this, that I can tell you all of these things in person, but if something happens and I don't make it, I need you to know that our partnership, our relationship, is the greatest thing that has ever happened to me. You're an amazing man, and I love you with all of my heart.

Always.

 _[End Recording]_


	122. Chapter 122

_[This video was transcribed by Agent Ryan after our team entered the Scarsdale mansion. It was one of the few pieces of salvageable evidence left behind, and our only proof that Agent Beckett was even there.]_

 _[Recording.]_

Is that thing on? Good.

Mr. Castle, my name is Vulcan Simmons. We spoke on the phone.

You have not followed my instructions, Mr. Castle. I made it very clear that both you and Agent Beckett were to bring the Intel to me in exchange for your daughter. As you can see behind me, your daughter is still here. She would like very much to go home. Isn't that right, Alexis?

 _[The camera focuses on Alexis, who is being held in a large cage in the middle of the room. She looks scared but defiant. She doesn't say anything.]_

You can see that she is being extended every courtesy as my guest, including keeping her from the occasional rodent that manages to creep in to this establishment. I do not tolerate rodents, Mr. Castle, even if some of them are as attractive as the one we found.

 _[The camera swings around to show the other end of the room, where Agent Beckett is being held on her knees between two thugs. She glares at Simmons as he approaches her.]_

You see, Mr. Castle, we have reason to believe that the information stolen from the CIA could be damaging to our business operations here, and we wouldn't want that to happen, now, would we? Unfortunately, Agent Beckett has also chosen to be uncooperative. I am still hoping you will choose to be reasonable, so I thought it best to give you a taste of what your lack of cooperation is doing to the people you care about, and give Agent Beckett here the opportunity to change her mind, all at the same time. Isn't that generous of me?

 _[Simmons smiles coldly at the camera before turning to the henchmen holding Beckett down, jerking his head toward a previously unseen part of the room containing an old washtub filled with water and ice. The henchmen drag her over to it, holding her face inches from the water.]_

Last chance to do this the easy way, Agent Beckett. What information does the stolen intelligence contain?

 _[Beckett doesn't say anything. Simmons nods, and the henchmen plunge her head and shoulders down into the water. Alexis can be heard screaming at them to leave her alone, but she is ignored. Beckett is brought up for a breath, then plunged under once more. Simmons drags a chair over and spins it so he can sit backwards and be at her eye level.]_

Let's do without all this Kabuki theater, Agent. It's undignified. Tell me what I want to know and I'll give you a proper death without all this messy suffering. What does the stolen intelligence contain?

[ _Beckett:]_ Do you want undignified? Then wait 'til you see what I do to you.

 _[She gets pushed under again. It's even longer before she is brought up.]_

 _[Simmons:]_ You know, you're just like your momma. Both playing in worlds where you don't belong. Your momma paid for it with her life. So will you. But first –

 _[Simmons himself pushes her head under.]_

 _[Simmons:]_ Tell me what I want to know!

 _[She is held under until she begins to go limp. Just as she is dragged up out of the water, a commotion behind the camera catches Simmons' attention. He stands and signals to the henchmen to drop her on the floor where she coughs and sputters. The camera follows Simmons across the room, past Alexis's cage.]_

 _[Simmons:]_ Well?

 _[Henchman:]_ Sir, we found Richard Castle sneaking around outside.

 _[Simmons:]_ Excellent. Time for a family reunion, don't you think, Alexis?

 _[Alexis:]_ Don't you dare hurt him!

 _[Simmons:]_ That depends on him.

 _[Castle gets pushed into the room. He ignores his captors and rushes over to Alexis, and they have a low conversation in which "I'm okay" are the only audible words. One of the henchmen approaches Simmons and hands him a walkie-talkie.]_

 _[Henchman:]_ He only had this on him.

 _[Simmons:]_ Mr. Castle, so nice of you to join us. However, I notice you did not bring the information I requested, I'm sorry to say I will have to kill your daughter.

 _[Castle:]_ You think I would just bring it in here? I left it somewhere safe. Let Alexis go and I'll show you where it is.

 _[Simmons:]_ Let me guess, you left it with a trusted associate, perhaps? Someone waiting outside, on the other end of this? Your father, perhaps? Agent Hunt? Did you really think that I wouldn't be prepared for an attack?

 _[Castle:]_ She's of no use to you. Let her go.

 _[Simmons:]_ When a man doubles his wealth, why should he give half of it away? Time to end this.

 _[Simmons starts speaking into the walkie-talkie, pacing away from the cage.]_ I know that you are here. I know that you are close. And I want you to know that I have your son. You have 10 seconds to show yourself to my men out front. Give yourself up – _[he pulls his gun out and points it at Castle]_ – or I will kill him. 10... 9... 8... 7...

 _[Alexis starts to cry. Castle keeps whispering reassurances.]_

 _[Simmons:]_ 6... 5... 4... 3...

 _[Hunt's voice over the walkie-talkie:]_ You're not going to kill my son, Simmons.

 _[Simmons:]_ No? And why is that?

 _[Hunt:]_ Because you'll be dead.

 _[Simmons looks back at Castle in disbelief as the walkie-talkie in his hand explodes, killing him and the men around him_ _in a six foot radius i_ _nstantly, including the cameraman. The camera flies back into a corner, and lands with a thud. The lens is cracked and is lying on its side, but it is still recording. From this angle, most of the room can be seen.]_

 _[Castle takes off his watch and wraps it around the lock mechanism of the cage, shouting at Alexis to duck. They both do just as it explodes. At the same time, Beckett springs up from where she was playing dead, and takes out the two henchmen surrounding her. More men come in, guns blazing, as Beckett picks up the weapons from her incapacitated guards and diverolls across the room to cover Castle as he helps Alexis out of the cage.]_

 _[Beckett, yelling over the gunfire:]_ Now what?

 _[Castle:]_ Now we head out the back way while the Cavalry comes in the front.

 _[They head for the back entrance, only to be held up by more gunfire.]_

 _[Beckett:]_ I'm not so sure this is going work.

 _[Castle:]_ Don't worry, they'll be here!

 _[Beckett, still returning gunfire:]_ ...They?

 _[Above them, the skylight shatters as two figures dressed in black rappel down, guns blazing. One of them is Jackson Hunt, who gives cover fire.]_

 _[Hunt:]_ I've got this. You get them out of here!

 _[Hunt begins setting charges around the room. The other figure nods and joins the group by the back door. With Beckett in the lead, and the two Castles protected in the middle, the group exits just as Hunt hits the charge button and throws himself out the front.]_

 _[At the last moment, the mystery figure turns just enough for us to run facial recognition and identify him as Jim Beckett.]_

 _[The charges explode, and there is static.]_


	123. Chapter 123

_[Recording.]_

 _[Castle:]_ It is day one hundred and... well, it's past midnight, so I guess that makes it day one hundred and twenty three of our mission-

 _[Beckett:]_ Castle, what the hell do you think you're doing?

 _[Castle:]_ Shhh! Alexis is sleeping. I thought you were, too.

 _[Jim Beckett:]_ All three of you should be.

 _[Castle:]_ You sure you're still okay to drive, Jim?

 _[Jim:]_ I can keep going for hours. Rest, Rick. I'll wake you when it's time to switch.

 _[Beckett:]_ And then we need to talk about what we're going to do.

 _[Jim:]_ Time for that in the morning, Katie.

 _[Castle:]_ Here you go, Kate. It has all your recordings on it. Including that last one, which we're going to talk about.

 _[Beckett:]_ Like the way you disappeared?

 _[Castle:]_ Let's just get some rest. And Kate?

 _[Beckett:]_ Yeah?

 _[Castle:]_ I love you. You know that, right?

 _[Beckett:]_ I know.

 _[End Recording.]_


	124. Chapter 124

_[Recording.]_

Day One Hundred and Twenty Four.

My Dad has taken Alexis back to the city. We all agreed that she needs to be kept as far out of this as possible, and while my Dad might have been out of the game for a few years, he still thinks like a spy. She couldn't be in safer hands.

Dad also has an old friend he liaised with over a few cases years ago, who is a police captain now, who he thinks we can trust to help us. Considering that technically the CIA doesn't have jurisdiction on American soil, this Captain Gates may be just the help we need.

Castle's gone out to get some supplies. He should be back any second.

We still haven't had a chance to talk about...

 _[The door creaks as it opens.]_

Castle?

 _[Director Bracken:]_ Hello, Agent Beckett.

 _[Bracken's henchman:]_ Don't even think about it. Drop it!

 _[Bracken:]_ I'm impressed, Agent Beckett. You do your training proud. You've managed to evade some of my best operatives. However, I'm afraid your luck has run out. You had a future. Why couldn't you just let this go and move on so I could do the same? I guess there's no point in asking for your vote, is there?

 _[Beckett:]_ You're not going to be on the ballot. A Presidential campaign financed by arms deals and selling government secrets to the Russians, a trail of dead bodies, and hits ordered on American citizens on US soil? There's no hole big enough to bury all of that.

 _[Bracken:]_ I've gotta tell you, part of me really admires your – your moral certitude, the way you fight for what you believe in even knowing it's all going to cave in on you. But the part of me that admires you is not the part that makes tough decisions.

 _[Beckett:]_ The truth is going to come out.

 _[Bracken:]_ There is no truth. Not anymore.

 _[The door clicks shut.]_

 _[Beckett delivers a series of swift kicks and punches, then uses one as a human shield as the other opens fire. She then swiftly takes out the other, using the now-dead man's gun. She checks them both for their pulse before she begins gathering hers and Castle's things, just as Castle enters the room.]_

 _[Castle:]_ What the hell happened?

 _[Beckett:]_ Bracken paid me a visit. In person.

 _[Castle:]_ I wish I could just take you away from all of this. Somewhere safe.

 _[Beckett:]_ I'll never be safe. Not until this is done.

 _[Castle:]_ Then let's finish this.

 _[Beckett:]_ Come on, let's go.

 _[End Recording.]_


	125. Chapter 125

_[Recording]_

Day One Hundred and Twenty Five.

We've figured out what "A Me bec family" means.

In the end, it was something Bracken said to me that gave me the clue I needed, and Castle figured out the rest.

We need to head back. I know exactly where to look.

 _[End Recording.]_


	126. Chapter 126

_[Recording]_

 _[Castle:]_ What day are we up to? Day One Hundred and Twenty Six?

 _[Beckett:]_ Are you seriously recording us right now? We're nearly there.

 _[Castle:]_ Exactly. I don't know if you've paid attention to our luck lately, Kate, but I think we need as much of this covered as possible.

 _[Beckett:]_ Our luck's just fine, Castle. We're alive, and we're together. But you're right, recording this is probably a good idea.

 _[Castle:]_ So have you given any thought to what you're going to do when this is all over?

 _[Beckett:]_ Not really. Although I'm not sure I'll be welcome back at the CIA. Why? Do you think this Captain Gates is hiring?

 _[Castle:]_ It's possible. And hey, at least that way you'd be living in New York.

 _[Beckett:]_ That much, at least, has been my plan for a while. Look, we're here.

 _[Castle:]_ So I know you told me already, but I wasn't recording yesterday. Want to recap where we are and why we're here, for the kids at home?

 _[Beckett:]_ Kids at home? Really, Castle?

 _[Castle:]_ Fine then. The jury.

 _[Beckett:]_ Good point. Okay, well, when I was sixteen years old, some bad guys figured out my parents' cover and we had to go off the grid for a few weeks. That was when I found out that my parents weren't lawyers like I thought they were, but they were actually spies. My Mom always used to say that's when we really became a family – that's when all the lies and deception stopped. Anyway, we spent most of that three weeks here, in these woods along the border of this National Park, and we camped in this cave. A cave which I think you recognize, Castle?

 _[Castle:]_ Yes. Your Dad's cabin is near here somewhere. Over there is where he ditched me that day he left me out in the woods. I didn't see the cave, though. The one thing I knew was to not wander away from where I got lost, so I just stood down there and shivered for hours.

 _[Beckett:]_ My parents bought the cabin almost as soon as it was okay for us to go home. We all wanted a place where we could get away from the spy life and just be a family together.

 _[Castle:]_ So what made you think the evidence is here?

 _[Beckett:]_ Director Bracken said something about everything caving in on me, and that's when I realized that the last part of the clue referred to where we, the Becketts, became a family. Leaving it as just "bec" to stand for both "Beckett" and "became" is typical of my Mom's shorthand.

 _[Castle:]_ I figured out the rest – that the "A Me" stood for "Agent Montgomery evidence"

 _[Beckett:]_ So it must be somewhere in here, although... Castle, I'm not seeing anything. Are you?

 _[Castle:]_ Wait, shine your flashlight over there. What's that?

 _[Beckett:]_ It's one of my Mom's elephant figurines. She had a whole collection.

 _[Castle:]_ The earth here has been disturbed. Not recently, but look – there.

 _[Beckett:]_ Time to dig?

 _[Castle:]_ It'd be my honor.

 _[Beckett:]_ I feel something. It's not deep.

 _[Castle:]_ Is that – leather?

 _[Beckett:]_ Vinyl. It's a... briefcase? I don't recognize this at all.

 _[Castle:]_ I do. Remember when we met Hunt at the truck stop, and we talked about how I pretended to be a spy when I met him the first time, and brought him cash in a briefcase? That's it.

 _[Beckett:]_ How can you possibly know it's the same one?

 _[Castle:]_ It is! I had this when I was little. I used to hide my stories in here.

 _[Beckett:]_ That's why Hunt got you involved. So that if anything happened to him, someone could still open the briefcase. Do you still remember the combination?

 _[Castle:]_ Of course! It's-

 _[Voice through megaphone outside:]_ Agent Beckett and Mr. Castle! Come out with your hands up! We have you surrounded. If you do not come out we are authorized to use deadly force!

 _[Castle:]_ Kate, what do I do...?

 _[Beckett:]_ I don't know.

 _[Voice through the megaphone:]_ This is your last chance. Come out with your hands-

 _[A woman's voice, clear and commanding, easily audible without amplification, interrupts:]_ Exactly what is going on here? Who's in charge? You? My name is Captain Victoria Gates of the NYPD, and I have been granted full jurisdiction in this matter. You are all to stand down, is that understood? STAND DOWN. No, I don't care about your orders – I can assure you that mine override them. Agent Beckett and Mr. Castle? I'm coming in!

 _[Beckett:]_ Captain Gates! You have no idea how good it is to see you.

 _[Gates:]_ Likewise. Is that the evidence there, Mr. Castle?

 _[Castle:]_ Yes.

 _[Gates:]_ Then I suggest you open it.

 _[Castle:]_ Kate, look...!

 _[Beckett:]_ Proof of Director Bracken's involvement with Vulcan Simmons' arms importing, some of the intelligence he sold to the Russians...

 _[Castle:]_...Bank account details, the paperwork covering up Montgomery's red test...

 _[Beckett:]_ Castle, look – this is the memo that ordered the hit on my Mom.

 _[Castle:]_ She knew it was coming.

 _[Gates:]_ I'd say there's more than enough evidence here to sink the bastard. What do you say, Agent Beckett? Care to accompany me in carrying out a warrant for an arrest?

 _[End Recording.]_


	127. Chapter 127

_[Raw footage acquired from_ WABC Eyewitness News _for evidence. Transcribed by Agent Ryan.]_

 _[Relevant footage picks up midway through press conference with Director Bracken.]_

 _[Reporter:]_ Director, why do you want to be president?

 _[Bracken:]_ Well it's simple, Linda. I'm tired. The backroom deals, the corruption, the waste? I'm exhausted, frankly, and I know the American people are, too. Look, this country deserves a leader who won't back – who –

 _[Beckett and Gates, flanked by several officers, enter the room, approaching slowly.]_

 _[Bracken:]_...Who won't fight – back down from a fight. Who has a proven record of taking on special interests and believes a government can still be a force for good. These are the – I'm …I'm sorry. I'm – I'm going to have to cut this short.

 _[Reporter:]_ Director, is everything okay?

 _[Bracken:]_ You can't be here.

 _[Beckett:]_ I found the evidence. I found it. It's over.

 _[Gates:]_ Director Bracken, you are under arrest for conspiracy, fraud, and the murder of Johanna Beckett. Turn around, please.

 _[Bracken is led away in handcuffs. The camera follows along with a crowd of others, and there's some pushing and shoving as they all try to get a good shot. As they come down the steps, they are held back by a line of uniformed officers.]_

 _[As Bracken is taken toward one of the squad cars, one of the uniforms who has been just standing there reaches into his pocket and pulls out a detonator. Beckett catches the movement and dives across Director Bracken just as the squad car explodes.]_

 _[In the following confusion, Beckett remains unconscious on the sidewalk.]_


	128. Chapter 128

_[Recording]_

Day... day one hundred and twenty eight, I think.

I feel like I've lived a lifetime in this 24 hours. Kate is, uh... Kate's still unconscious. She hit her head pretty hard in the explosion, and... I mean, thanks to her, Bracken is alive.

I don't know how she did what she did. It's proof she's a better person than me. I would have let him burn.

Esposito and Ryan have been taking point on the investigation. It looks like the bomber was caught in the blast. He was a Russian agent, here under the pseudonym Cole Maddox.

I don't know why I'm making this recording, except – it's part of our story. And even though the doctors are saying things might be bad, I refuse to believe this is the end of our story. So I'm going to keep making these until it's time for us to start our life together, like we planned.

I just need you to wake up first, Kate.

 _[End Recording.]_


	129. Chapter 129

_[Recording]_

Day One Hundred and Twenty Nine.

Well, Kate, you're still here. In the hospital. Unconscious.

There's so much I wish I could tell you.

Alexis is home, and seems to be recovering from her ordeal well. She was in here earlier, visiting you.

I got a package in the mail this morning, with no return address. It was the copy of _Casino Royale_ I gave my father to hold onto, so, uh... I guess he made it out okay. None of us have heard from him since we got out of the mansion so it's really a bit of a relief.

Your dad dropped by earlier. He's postponing going back to his cabin until he knows you're better. He's proud of you, Kate. Your mother would be, too, for not just surviving these past couple of months, but for finding the truth in the end, against all the odds.

We just need you to wake up now, so we can celebrate together.

 _[End Recording.]_


	130. Chapter 130

_[Recording]_

Kate woke up today.

Her last memory was of a mission that happened 18 months ago.

She doesn't remember anything.

 _[End Recording.]_


	131. Chapter 131

_[Recording]_

Day One Hundred and Thirty One.

This is the only place I get to talk and be honest.

Kate's fine, apart from her memory. They're even talking about discharging her. Jim's filled her in on a lot of what's happened, and the boys have, too.

She won't see me.

She told me that she is first and foremost a spy, and that any relationship she may have had with me would have only been a cover. I told her she was welcome to come back to the loft to stay in the guest room while she recuperates, but... she didn't want that. She said she'd go stay with her dad up at the cabin until she was fit to report for duty.

I'm... I just… I don't know what to do. Or what to feel. I'm in love with her, irrevocably, and–

She doesn't even know who I am.

 _[End Recording.]_


	132. Chapter 132

_[Recording]_

Day One Hundred and Thirty Two.

Well, Kate, you've made yourself clear. Abundantly clear. I don't ever want to force you into something you don't want – not that I could ever make you do something you don't want to do – so, uh... this is it. This is my last recording here.

I've asked Ryan and Esposito to help me out with compiling this project after I thought of it yesterday, and they've gone above and beyond – Ryan, especially, transcribing all that media. Those two would do anything for you, Kate. Mind you keep them safe, okay? And let them look out for you, too. It's their job, after all.

I hope by now you've seen just how extraordinary our journey has been. A lot of it has been painful, and sometimes there have been more downs than ups, but Kate – you are the most remarkable person I've ever met, and I'm amazed at the depth of your strength, your heart, and your... your maddening ability to tie me up in knots.

I love you, Kate.

And I would give anything...

...So I'm giving you our story.

The ending's up to you, Kate. Whatever you decide.

 _[End Recording.]_


	133. Chapter 133

She closes the lid of the laptop as the final recording – yesterday's, she notes – comes to an end, and stares at the wall of the hotel room. She had checked into it after being discharged from hospital the day before – in spite of her father's quiet insistence she go back to the cabin with him – but the muted tones are as blank as her memories of the tale she just spent her morning experiencing.

Esposito brought her a few things earlier, including the laptop, and had mentioned there was a "special something" in the disk drive from Castle.

She almost tossed it without looking at it, but in the end, her curiosity had been stronger.

So much of her life is now just... blank. Like she blinked and a year and a half went by.

The doctors are all so cautious about whether or not she will get her memory back, and everyone seems to have an opinion on whether she should be told anything about her missing months, so in a sense, it is a tremendous relief to have so much of the last few months filled in for her – in her own words, which, as a spy, she trusts over anyone else.

And now... now, she has no idea what to think.

* * *

A knock on the door interrupts her musings, and out of habit she picks up a throwing knife before moving silently to the door.

"Katie? It's me." Jim's voice meets her before she has a chance to check who is on the other side, his voice soft in volume but commanding in tone, a combination that her mother used to joke he learned out in the field but perfected when he had a daughter. Kate relaxes, but waits until the door is open and she can see for herself there are no threats coming in with him before she drops the knife on the side table and steps aside to allow her father entry.

She watches her father do a visual sweep of the room as he comes in – even years of alcohol abuse and therapy can't take the spy out of the spy – and sees the moment he recognizes the laptop.

"You got Rick's project?" he asks gruffly.

"Just finished it." She stuffs her emotions back inside with a deep breath, in spite of that strange burning in her chest that begs her to allow herself the chance to cry.

He turns to her, stumbles over his words, attempts – and fails – to be tactful. "Did it... help?"

The look of hope lighting up her father's tired eyes tempts her to lie, to tell him that everything was now crystal clear. It wouldn't be fair, though, so she shakes her head.

"It filled in a few blanks, I guess – like why you and the boys keep pushing my asset on me, but... no, I don't remember any of it. It's like hearing about someone else's life, only my voice is narrating."

Jim turns away, a practiced move she knew of old, designed to mask his disappointment until he had control of his features once more. He crosses to the window, staring out at the city. "He's more than just an asset, Katie."

She closes her eyes against the grief of disappointing her father. "To you, maybe. To... her. The version of me who lived that life." She opens her eyes once more, allowing the bottled frustration burning in her lungs a moment of release. "But to me? All I can see is a moment of weakness that broke my cover and exposed my real self to a civilian, and the only way I can fix it is to get as far away from New York as possible and just hope no one ever finds out about him."

Jim turns to her, studying her a long moment. "That man would go through hell and back rather than betray you. Surely you see that, after going through those," he gestures to the laptop.

She joins her father, staring out over the city, her spine straight, her jaw tight. "You say that now, and I'm sure he does, too – and maybe even I did, before the explosion, but all I know now is that I'm taking everyone else's word for it, and that goes against everything I've learned in this job."

Jim takes her arm, turning her to face him, his weary eyes pleading with her. "Then trust yourself. Do you really think that you would have given him your real name, or been honest about your mother, or brought him to the cabin to meet me if you weren't absolutely sure of him?"

She rolls her eyes, shakes her arm free, irritation at his lack of understanding making her blood boil. "For all I know I might have been blinded by sleeping with him."

Her father levels her with a look. "I don't ask about your missions, Katie, but I know the nature of your job. You can't tell me this has never happened."

She can't stop the blush rise from her chest and flooding her cheeks. She stalks across the room, landing on the sofa with a huff. "I am not talking to you about that."

Jim holds his hands up as if to stop the turn their conversation has taken, yet still pushes his point. "Good. I don't want to hear about it. But you know I'm right. And you managed to never give any of them your personal information."

If only the sofa would open up and swallow her now. "You make it sound like that's all I do."

"No judgments here. My point is, you're one of the best. You always have been – and a big part of that is because you've always been so careful to protect yourself. Most of the Agency doesn't even know you exist – or didn't, until the last few weeks. You don't make mistakes, and you don't trust easily. Yet somehow, you trusted him. You love him, Katie, you just... don't remember." He eases himself down into the armchair opposite her, the coffee table with the laptop between them.

Love.

Could she?

Had she really been through so much in the past weeks and months that she had actually fallen for the man with the pleading blue eyes?

She shook her head, pushing the thought away – yet still it lingered. "So what am I supposed to do?"

"That's up to you, sweetheart. But you are on medical leave pending a psych evaluation, and the Agency is a little preoccupied just now anyway. You're welcome to come back to the cabin with me, but... well, maybe your time might be spent more profitably here in the city." He pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket with a phone number jotted on it, laying it carefully on top of the closed laptop.

She doesn't bother asking if it's Castle's.

"You make it sound like it's all going to magically work itself out. This isn't a fairytale, Dad."

Her father smirks as he stands. "How do you know until you kiss the frog? Sleeping Beauty might just wake up."

She groans, burying her face in her hands. Jim crosses to the door.

"Just – promise me you'll think about it, Katie. That's all I ask."

* * *

She does think about it, right through the rest of the afternoon, her father's quiet, thought out words turning over and over in her mind, the piece of paper with Castle's phone number taunting her from across the room.

More than that, though, the experiences recorded for her, her own story, runs through again and again. Her mind reels as she goes over the information – the mystery surrounding her mother's death now put to bed, the Director himself behind it all and now safely in custody, his reputation in ruins. Agent Montgomery – her mentor and friend – dead. Royce – dead. Agent Turner – a double agent – dead. So much bloodshed to cover one man's quest for power.

She tries to read, but her thoughts float back to the author she supposedly spent so much time with. She flips on the TV to fill the silence, but there's nothing on that's worth watching. She's on leave, for now, until this mess is sorted, so she has no reason to report in or even call the boys to distract her – probably a good thing, considering their part in the project put together for her. Two more people for her to disappoint.

She winds up on the sofa once more, staring down the laptop and the scrawled number that remains untouched since her father left.

Picking up the piece of paper with trembling fingers, she pulls out her phone and dials.

* * *

She watches from across the street as he arrives, sauntering through the park, his eyes on a couple of kids playing on the monkey bars, parents sitting on a nearby bench chatting. The swings are deserted and he meanders over, sitting in one of the larger ones to wait for her.

She takes a deep breath. Now or never.

Crossing the road, she approaches with caution, eyes sweeping automatically for any sign this could be a setup or a trap. Her gut tells her it's okay, but her training keeps her on alert regardless. This is why she didn't want to meet at the Old Haunt – she needs the protection of multiple escape routes.

She sees the moment he notices her arrival – sooner than she expected. It's the sudden, sharp straightening of his spine when his shoulders were slumped mere seconds earlier that gives him away. She perches on the second swing, letting her silence greet him for her.

Her mouth is strangely dry, her mind devoid of words.

"I wasn't sure you were going to come," he says, eyes turned resolutely forward as if it hurts him to look at her.

"Neither was I." The honesty of her statement takes her by surprise – him, too, by the way he glances at her out the corner of his eye. "I played through the recordings," she adds.

He nods. "Good. I'm glad. You deserved to know."

Her heart is hammering in her chest, her throat tight, her voice scratching. Why is this so difficult? "For what it's worth, Mr. Castle, I'm sorry things have happened the way they did."

He seems to deflate before her eyes. "I don't need an apology. That's not why I did it."

Her eyes burn with unshed tears that she doesn't fully understand, but she blinks them away, shooting for a warmer tone than her calm professionalism of a moment ago. "I know. But a few days ago you were making future plans with the woman you're in love with, and that's... she's not me. And I am sorry to cause you pain, Mr. Castle, especially considering everything we've apparently been through together."

She observes his sharp intake of breath, sees how much her words hurt him, how brave he is trying to be. "I don't want anything from you. I just need you to know that wherever you go, I will always be there to help you. You can call – whenever. Trust me, Kate. I'm here for you. Always."

Her father told her earlier that this man won't betray her and at the time she hadn't wanted to believe him, but the look in Castle's eyes breathes life into her father's words. She still doesn't believe that there is room for love in her life, but if that ever changed, she hopes she will one day find another Castle. He is a good man, and he deserves...

He deserves a chance. And the only way to give him that chance was to start over and get to know him again. She had heard her own version of events this morning, but now she wants more than anything to hear his.

"Castle? Tell me our story."

He turns surprised blue eyes on her, and then his whole face lights up, his body canting toward hers as his toes scuff in the dirt, the bashful grin making him look incredibly handsome in the late afternoon sun.

"Well, it started with a novelist who had run out of ideas. One day at a book launch, his father, who, it turns out, was a spy, stole some secrets, and asked the novelist to look after them for him. Then, about half an hour later, his life really changed when he met a college student called Nikki Heat – and he fell in love."

He talks for a long time, making her laugh, making her cry, spinning his words in a cocoon around them, tugging on the corners of her mind, answering a number of the questions her own version of events had left out.

Once he finishes, a calm settles over them, a silence that cloaks them in companionship, that trembles with the possibility that maybe, just maybe, this isn't goodbye.

Kate watches him, suddenly aware of the grin that tugs on her face – and of how long it's been since she has been this light and free. "You know, my Dad had this crazy idea."

Castle's attention focuses on her immediately. "What is it?"

She feels the blush rising up her cheeks. "He thinks that with one kiss I'll remember everything."

His grin is crooked, wistful. "One magical kiss?" His gaze warms her from the inside out, but he seems to be waiting for her permission.

"Castle?"

"Yeah?"

"Kiss me."

Instantly, he pushes his swing closer to hers, one large hand cupping her jaw reverently. He stares into her eyes for a long moment before glancing down to her lips and slowly, slowly touching them to his. It's sweet and soft and innocent, and somehow... familiar. She moans, chasing the sensation, pushing closer and opening to him, allowing his tongue to sweep inside. He tastes of coffee and something she knows, and the way he teases her, drawing her out and igniting her veins... an image of them pressed up against a red door flashes in her mind, the way he nips at her bottom lip and soothes it with his tongue. Another image follows the first, of them wrapped around each other in a motel room, of his tongue doing wicked things to her. Another of a different room again, of waking up in each other's arms and trading lazy early morning kisses.

She gasps and pulls away, searching his now familiar eyes as memory after memory floods her senses, and relief propels her into his arms as she drops to her knees off the swing and buries her face in his neck, his scent surrounding her, his arms holding her safe and warm and tight.

"Kate...?"

"I'm okay," she gasps, snaking her arms around his broad torso, burrowing in and hanging on, anchoring herself to him through the storm of her emotion.

She hears him testing her words, searching out meaning. "Okay as in...?"

She laughs, a strangled, gurgling, thin sound, and raises her eyes to meet his. "I remember, Castle. Not everything, not by a long shot, but... I remember us. I remember you."

He gazes at her in wonder, one hand caressing her cheek in awe, and then his smile blooms across his face – a beautiful, magical thing that lights up everything within her, and she feels her own smile grow in response.

Then he bends down once more and fuses their mouths together, and her mind goes blissfully blank in a much more pleasant way.

* * *

 _Six months later..._

* * *

"Castle, have you seen my holster?"

His head pops around the bathroom door, toothbrush poking out of his mouth, hair adorably mussed. "It's not on it's hook?"

She arches an eyebrow at him, sweeping her eyes over his bare chest, her mouth dry. God, she just had him a few minutes ago – it's why she's packing so frantically now – and she really doesn't have time to pounce on him again, no matter how delectable he looks with the morning sun streaming in through the windows behind him.

"Not that one, babe," is all she says, and he chokes a little, his eyes darkening with arousal even as he disappears back into the bathroom to spit out the toothpaste.

His voice echoes back to her a moment later, and with his words she can faintly hear him rinsing his toothbrush and tapping it against the sink. "Last time I saw it was when I took it off you two nights ago."

Her blood hums as she remembers exactly what he had been doing with his tongue and those talented fingers of his at the time. She exits the closet, walks around the bed and sees the offending article poking out from behind the nightstand on her side of the bed. "How on earth did this get... you know what? Never mind."

She stuffs it into her duffel bag without ceremony, and isn't at all startled when a pair of strong arm wind around her waist from behind and stubble grazes her neck. "A super-hot spy was wearing it under her dress."

She groans, allows her head to drop, giving him more access to her neck. "Said spy needs to wear it again tonight," she mumbles, smirking as he answers her words with a nip of his teeth and a groan.

"Remind me how long you'll be this time?" he asks, spinning her in his arms so he can see her face. She reaches up to cup his jaw tenderly.

"Only two days this time. It's just an embassy party in London, and they've asked a few more of our people to go as added security. I won't even be taking down any bad guys this time, probably. Just watching politicians drink champagne." She pushes away from him, quickly checking her bag one last time before zipping it closed. He watches her with giant, puppy dog eyes, and she holds up a finger with mock sternness.

"None of that, Castle. I'll be back home in two days." She leans in to kiss him, but just before their lips meet, the buzzer can be heard echoing through the loft, followed a moment later by the clear sounds of Alexis ushering in Ryan and Esposito.

Castle groans, dropping his head onto her shoulders, and she cradles him there for a moment.

"Two days, Castle." She pushes him away gently, reaching up to fuse her mouth to his one last time before gathering up her duffel bag and blazer.

"Kate?"

She pauses at the door, looking back at him.

"I love you," he says miserably.

She drops both bag and blazer, rushing back to him and slicking her mouth against his once more. "I love you, too." She grins, sliding away. "And I really do have to go. But if you're very, very good, I might wear the thigh holster on the plane and let you help me remove it once I'm home."

He grins at that, boyish and charming. "I can't wait."

"Me, either," she replies, before picking up her things and heading out the door to join her team, ready for their new mission.

* * *

The end.

* * *

 **A/N: Final wordcount: 25,302.**

 **Disclaimer: Neither Castle nor Chuck is mine, but gosh, it's been fun trying to merge them!**

 **Thank you, thank you, thank you, to every single one of you who has read and responded to this fic in any way, for joining me as I've "Chucked up" Castle. You've made my hiatus a joy. Thank you to the Castle Ficathon organisers for doing such an amazing job, and to the Castle Fic Promoter account for being so tireless in promoting me. Thank you to my Twitter and Tumblr friends, who have cheered me on during the hard times and kept me encouraged. Thank you to the amazing group of people who dropped me a line EVERY DAY, even if it was just a couple of words - you made the day to day worthwhile. Thank you to Ninjadoc, Beline, and Tuuli for being my head cheerleaders. Thank you to Esther for being a listening ear and an alarm clock and a cheering squad all on your own and for your amazing work shadow writing the M!chapter. Most of all, thank you to Katherine for betaing every single day, sometimes at work - for being available to talk through plot points and to post for me on days I didn't have internet, and most of all for being an amazing friend. I couldn't have done this without you, and I am so very grateful.**

 **Thank you, everyone, for sharing your hiatus with me, and happy Season 8! :-)**

 **-Lou**


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